Hey Pukeko,

Yeah, the EDDs are bloody hard to get through! Personally I found the days/weeks leading up to the day harder than the actual day itself IYKWIM. But in the meantime, give yourself lots of time to grieve and work through all of your emotions. Do whatever you need to, cry, scream, get angry, whatever. There's always someone here on BB if you need to have a vent or chat.

It's awful losing your first baby especially. I don't think you ever lose that fear and anxiety in subsequent pregnancies. I know with my 2nd pg, at each scan I was scared that the OB would tell me that the baby was dead. The 12 week thing doesn't really mean much to me either. With our first we found out at 16w that our baby was dead, so I know that there can be bad news after the first tri. But there's always hope too. That's the amazing thing, there's always a tiny bit of hope, looking to the future, to the baby that you'll have in your arms one day.

I don't think it matters how long you were pg. The love we have for our babies goes beyond anything and it's that love that counts. We were mothers from the very start

All the best.