Hi, I'm really sorry i just need to get this off my chest.
A little background, 1 year ago on friday i gave birth to our beautiful little boy Riley, he was born sleeping at 35 weeks. 6 weeks later my 'friend' (we have been friends for about 10 years) anounced she was 5 weeks pregnant. I couldn't even look at her it made me sick (i don't know why, i'm never like that). She told everyone at work, friends etc. 3 days later i called her because i had been feeling really terrible about how i had been treating her and asked if i could come over and talk, she said ok and i hung up, about 10 mins later she called me back saying she was going to the hospital because she was having a bleed. The next day i was told at work she'd miscarried. I felt awful for her. Some things didn't add up with her miscarriage though, like she didn't have any doctors visits after the hospital or any tests done, and she is very vague on the details.
Fast forward to last week, She tells me that she's pregnant again, 6 and a half weeks (i'm happy for her but a little sceptical because for the last 10 months every month she kept telling me she thought she was pregnant, that she was sick etc) she told me not to tell anyone so i didn't, but EVERYONE knows because SHE told them, but then told them not to tell either.So today she went home from work early because she had a cramp in her belly, and a few hours later her husband comes into work and tells me that she miscarried again! and her blood tests that she did on monday came back negative and the doctor said she must have miscarried!
now i'm no expert on this but i really don't think she was pregnant at all! I'm so angry at her, that she could do something like this expecially when Rileys birthday is only 3 days away. Does she just want attention? I feel really sorry for her DH because he really wants a baby! Some of the other girls at work feel the same way and are ready to tear strips off her. They don't know why we are still friends when she does these things to me, I don't know either.
Thanks for reading if you got all the way through without getting bored. I just don't know what to think! Maybe i'm a bit emotional because of our little mans birthday coming up, maybe i'm just being stupid.
It is possible that she did go to the hospital and didn't require any further tests or doctor's visits. Especially for an early m/c. Hard to say without knowing her, but if that's your gut feeling, you might be right.
I worked with a girl who faked an m/c to get annual leave that she had been denied. She told two of us she was pregnant on the Wednesday, then didn't come in on the Friday. It wasn't until the following week that I put the pieces together and remembered the even she'd talked about. Pretty low.
to you for having to deal with it. I'd press a little bit - say that you're there for her, ask her about details etc. If she really did m/c, she'll probably welcome it, as nobody else is. If she didn't m/c, it will make her feel really uncomfortable, so it's a win-win in my book. If you're up to it. If not, avoid at all costs, and focus on getting yourself through this Friday.
I wont go into details but we found out this afternoon that she was lying about both miscarriages. She knows we know too.
I actually feel sad for her now, why would anyone go to the lengths she did for such a hurtful thing? Should i go and talk to her about it or should i wait untill she is ready to talk to me.
Some people act weird when they have attention taken away from them. The fact that you were pregnant prob made her jealous and after all you went through you deserve a better friend. i say wipe her completely. what a freak
It sounds like she may need to speak with someone.... because what she is doing isn't normal, and it does seem like she is very much attention seeking, so I wonder if there is a reason for it. I had a friend like it at uni and in the end we got so tired of the "Crying Wolf" act that we no longer listened....eventually she realised that she was getting even less attention so stoppped the attention seeking actions
Maybe she doesn't really want to be pregnant but as her DH would love her to be, that she is "pretending" and then faking a MC so she doesn't have to keep up the lie as such. It is such a horrible thing to do, and I bet she really has no idea what it is really like to lose a child, because if she knew how painful it was she wouldn't be faking it.
I would probably step away form the relationship, as it would be likely that she would do it or lie about something else again, I would be hesitant in believing anything that she said after making two blatent lies.
Take care of yourself hun first and if you can find a way to help, know someone who may be able to talk to her, then do so, but I would step back from the situation so as not to cause you any further pain
This is your time, will be thinking of you as you approach Riley's First Birthday
Really long vent!
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to you for having to deal with it. I'd press a little bit - say that you're there for her, ask her about details etc. If she really did m/c, she'll probably welcome it, as nobody else is. If she didn't m/c, it will make her feel really uncomfortable, so it's a win-win in my book. If you're up to it. If not, avoid at all costs, and focus on getting yourself through this Friday.
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