Sunshine big hugs to you.. Everything you are feeling is normal. My advice is to grieve the way you need to and be gentle on yourself.. Maybe you can honour your baby with jewelry, or plant a tree or something like that. Just do what feel right. Did you give your baby a name? Maybe seek out a support group like SANDS SIDS and kids or Bonnie Babes.. These things I am suggesting may not be right for everyone so do what you feel you need to. I am so sorry for the loss of you precious baby.