I also know just how you feel.I also lost a little boy at 19weeks, with no reason they could find. Let it all out - cry, hide, whatever. Just do whatever you need to to get through. For me it was avoiding certain people and situations that brought it all back, and trying to keep busy after the initial few weeks of crying in my room passed. I found keeping a journal and making a special memory box very helpful, and after a while, a special little ceremony by the beach to let him go, when i was ready ( a year later), where we read poems and said goodbye. He has his own Christmas decoration (the angel on top of the tree) that stays in his memory box throughout the year)I found SIDS & Kids here in Perth a great help when it was just all too much to bear.

But as everyone else has said just do what feels right for you- there is no right or wrong way to cope with your loss

After time has passed, I found the memories became bitter-sweet - he did change my life and gave me a gift of realizing how precious life is and I will always be grateful for that. He may have been stillborn - but he was born still. Your baby will always be with you, too. There is also hope- I have since given birth to 2 healthy boys - losing Tom was a rare once off.

Big hugs xx

Thomas Peter born sleeping 19 weeks