"You should be over it"

[WinterRaven]

Since a loss at about 17or so weeks of a baby boy I've had another baby, he is beautiful and I love him dearly, but I still miss my angel. No one seems to understand, I "should be over it" now I have a "replacement", but my boy isn't a replacement, he's his own little individual, just like my angel was, they are both my kids and I miss my angel still. Just needed to vent xo

[TeniBear]

It really sucks when people don't understand


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[LionsandBears]

people can be so insensitive and hurtful.

If someone who says that has more than one child, you could gently ask them, if one of their children died , how long would it take them to 'get over it'? After all, they have another. Though some people just dont get it and never will.

I dont have anything to do with people who dismiss my children.

[Aligater]

How could anyone ever "be over it" A good friend lost a little girl at 19 weeks she had 1 boy and now has another boy and a little girl she ist "over it" and I dont expect her to be yet some of her family treat it like it didnt happen that must hurt so much. sorry for taking over but it is close even though I havnt been through it I saw her go through it and the good and bad treatment

[Rainbow_Mumma]

Huge hugs .... People SUCK!! I get told because it's been 8 years it shouldn't effect me anymore but it does in a big way.
He will always be your baby boy no matter how many other children you have and if people don't get that then they lead very sheltered lives.
Huge hugs


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[diannescruffy]

I don't even thing it's possible to 'get over' the loss of an angel.

Regards,
Dianne

[Rach75]

I got told this by my MIL after I had Jack and this past xmas Jack was talkign about our family xmas tree and he said Katy had her own special decoration and do you know Katy is my big sister OMg the ruckus this caused how dare I tell Jack about Katy its not fair on him etc...bloody idiots

anyway rant over

[Tegam]

Some people just dont think and when they talk they are trying to make themselves feel better not you!

Take care and be kind to yourself!

[Charlotte91]

I got told this by my MIL after I had Jack and this past xmas Jack was talkign about our family xmas tree and he said Katy had her own special decoration and do you know Katy is my big sister OMg the ruckus this caused how dare I tell Jack about Katy its not fair on him etc...bloody idiots

anyway rant over

Are you serious?? Katy existed. You can't just sweep her under the carpet as if she didn't.
My mum lost our sister (we always refer to her as our sister) at 21 weeks. She was between me and my older sister.
We have a picture that represents her, as my parents never took a picture of her, as she was only the size of a 16 weeker and because it was 1990 and I guess you didn't do things like that so much back then.
As she was born in NZ she was declared a miscarriage at 21 weeks. The law back then was you had to be past 24 weeks to be a stillborn.

Anyway, my mother isn't over that. She was a complete wreck at Amelia's 21st birthday. She cried for days. Even at the 18 year anniversary she was a wreck.

You don't get over things like that.
And people shouldn't be telling you that you shouldn't tell Jack about Katy. Thats crap and its made me angry to read that!

[Samcougar]

People who havn't been through losing a child don't seem to understand entirely what it is like. No.. other children can't replace ones we have lost, as you said they are their own individuals. I was asked by a woman 4 weeks after we lost Riley if i was over it.. and don't worry you'll have more.. WTF!!
anyway huge hugs hun don't worry about their crappy opinions!

[Razzberry]

Big hugs to you hunny,
I lost a baby at 8.5 weeks and had a d&C at 10 weeks, so I wasn't nearly as far along as you so you must feel so much worse than I do and I still miss my angel terribly.
After the D&C when I was in recovery the nurse next to me said when I woke up crying and saying "I miss my baby" said "oh your young and you have plenty on time for others!" so not the thing to say to someone who just lost their baby and is devastated and also she had no idea about how hard it was to conceive our bub even though I was "young".

ahhh, makes me so sad that people just think losing a bub is something you "get over".

[8weeks]

People still have so far to go in relation to hooking their brains up before they speak!

And if they don't understand, they should remain quiet.

I've dealt with this first hand from losing my son at 22 weeks, and copping comments from the inlaws about when I should get out and work 2 weeks after the birth.

It saddens me further to see I'm not alone with being barraged [sp?] with useless comments.

[damprye]

I fell pregnant with a baby due a year after my first loss, he is a H&H 3.5yr old. I have fallen pregnant yet again to a babe due not even a year after my latest loss and all seems good. It has been 5years this month since my first and after what seems like "replacement" babies after each, I will never be over any of my angels and my arm babies could never replace them as they are all one of a kind.. People like that really need to think about it from others perspectives or just keep quiet.

[raffy]

Huge hugs Hunni I lost an angel at 8 weeks and then went on to get pregnant 2 months later with my beautiful DS. I have moments where I think oh my angel should be pulling himself up on things, or he should be standing now, I even still have his due date on the calendar, it isn something you just 'get over' I'm sorry people have said this to you