I waited so long for you and then in such a short time you were gone.
Such a tiny life, such a huge impact.
Two and a half years of trying to get you. 25 weeks getting to know you. Fleeting. Gone so quickly. Feeling like there was something not quite right. Convincing myself it was all fine. No heartbeat. No movement. Life from “Lentil” no longer existing.
Induction and labour – so incredibly painful for no reward. No time to get to know you. No chance for you to live, breathe, experience life and us as your parents. Small and perfect. Little fingers like mine. Other fingers like your Aunty Di – long and spidery. Toes and ears like your Daddy. Nose is definitely not Mummy’s!! Small and cute – button like even. Maybe your Daddy’s? Maybe another part of the family tree? Lips like the Sprat – which really means lips like mine. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Our golden haired child.
Saying goodbye to you after your birth was hard but I knew we would be back. Naming you Caitlyn gave you a personality and made you real. Made it so much harder to say goodbye only twenty fours hours after your arrival. Born one day and gone the next. One day in our life but forever in our hearts.
12 months today since you were born. Gone but never forgotten. You arrived with a storm and today you send a storm. I love the clouds. I love the wind and the rain. It means you are close. Mummy and Daddy are thinking of you, our little angel.
Michelle that is so lovely.
Today for you both is a sad day but also a special one you gave birth to a angel that will live in your hearts forever that will watch over you until it is time to look after her again.
Michelle - My thoughts are with you and your DH on this sad day. Caitlyn will live in your hearts forever and I am sure is looking over your next child to make sure they are born safe and healthly
I sit here with tears rolling down my cheek, your words are so beautiful yet so sad. Sending all my love to you and dh and little *alf*. Your precious daughter has sent you a beautiful "I love you mummy and daddy" message through the storms, and as your heart fills with love for her today and the sorrow for the lost tomorrows, remember that little Caitlyn is with you today as she is always.
That was so beautifully written Michelle
Thinking of you and your DH and your baby angel ~Caitlyn~ with love today.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful post with us.
Lisa
It was very touching reading your post and I want you to know that I am sending you all my hugs to you. It is about to storm here in Brisbane also, so perhaps Caitlyn is smiling down upon all of us. You have just survived the most difficult year of your life, recently a mother who lost her baby at full term told me that being a mummy of an angel baby is the toughest job of all. Caitlyn is so lucky to have such a brave and courageous Mummy and Daddy.
Thank you girls. Yesterday was a day of remembrance and included both sorrow and joy. We are ecstatic to be given the blessing of *alf* and I am sure Caitlyn had a hand in the creation of this new life to help us get through the first anniversary. At the same time, nothing will replace my baby girl and I still miss her every day.
Your love and words of support means so much. Thank you
Michelle I'm a little late here but sending you my thoughts for yesterday. I am sure ~Caitlyn~ helped her parents with their special little "alf". Big hugs to you.
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