This time 2 yrs ago my babies were alive.. I could see them, touch them, sing to them. They were doing well at this stage and I thought they were going to make it it.. This time 2 yrs ago my relationship with their dad was the strongest it had ever been. Among all the stress and worry of having 2 premmie babies, you could still feel the vast amount of love in our little family..
Here I am now and I don't have my babies and I don't have their dad. I am all alone feeling so empty and lost. Today has been 1 of those days where I just haven't been able to function. I was supposed to be at placement today but I just couldn't go.. Instead I have spent the day in bed sleeping, crying,sleeping, crying and wishing I never had to wake up.. It is so not fair, I miss my babies so much.. The emptyness in my heart is physically painful and I don't know how to stop it. I feel all alone and don't know what to do.. I don't want this life anymore it's too hard.
I know there is nothing I could say that would make it ok, or even any less hard than it is, but I just wanted to let you know that we are all thinking of you today. Huge hugs. Life is just so cruel.
Oh darl, I just coudn't not post after reading. I have seen you around the 'traps' & would love to see your memoir, but unfortunately, in China I'm unable to view it.
You sound like you have been to hell & back & my heart is broken for you.
I'm so sorry it's so crud right now, I wish I could offer you something more substantial than 'sorry', it feels so inadequate.
I just wanted you to know how much you're loved in here & even though you can't 'see' them, Taite & Seth are with you, every single step of the way.
Hoping that your day in bed helped, just a teeny bit.
Love Jayne x
I'm sorry Blessed, it's totally understandable that you feel this way. I don't have any words that will make it easier for you. I hope tomorrow will be a brighter day for you.
I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way, it is understandable that you are struggling at the moment, you've been through so much. I hope tomorrow is a little brighter for you
I'm so sorry Blessed, my heart is heavy for you You have an amazing strength to have survived all that you have, and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so, with your precious boys watching over you.
And don't forget, we are all here for you sweetheart
beautiful girl, i wish i could take just a little bit of the pain & fill some of that emptiness even the tiniest bit. i think of you often & send you much love & strength.
i hope you feel a little less alone today - we're all here for you, always
Today I'm feeling it is all too hard
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks