Oh darl, I just coudn't not post after reading. I have seen you around the 'traps' & would love to see your memoir, but unfortunately, in China I'm unable to view it.
You sound like you have been to hell & back & my heart is broken for you.
I'm so sorry it's so crud right now, I wish I could offer you something more substantial than 'sorry', it feels so inadequate.
I just wanted you to know how much you're loved in here & even though you can't 'see' them, Taite & Seth are with you, every single step of the way.
Hoping that your day in bed helped, just a teeny bit.
Love Jayne x