trouble concieving when other people are falling pregnant at a drop of a hat

[nomorepain]

Thanks Monnie, your absolutely right. I just need to take some time to wrap my head around this and to have some space. Talk about space. My Mother-In-Law called last night (again). We do have call display so I called out to my husband saying that it was for him. 2 minutes later he came to me, handed me the phone and said it was for me. I froze. I just couldn't do it. It sounds silly I know especially when you have a mother-in-law like mine. She's absolutely gorgeous and have known her for 12 years so she's just a really good friend. I couldn't talk to her though. I don't want her to hear or see me upset as it's her other son who is having the baby. I can't say anything that may seem nasty whether it's intentional or not as it's her son.

She's a sweety though. My husband came back into the ktchen and said that she's got this afternoon off and if I'd like she can come over with a tub of chocolate icecream and two spoons. I just can't do it, emotionally. Also I've got the afternoon booked with clients so the last thing I need is for them to come around and see me all puffy red eyed from crying.

My brother-in-law is very incensitive. He knows that we've lost a baby a year ago and have since had trouble concieving/investgative surgery etc and then to also know that we have to go through the IVF process if we want to be successful but he still makes very inappropriate comments. We'd be at the family table and he'd just blurt out in front of everyone including myself and my husband "when I knock kelly up..." and "Kelly's going to have one by her feet, one in her arms and one in the oven!" and "if I have anything to do with it Kelly's going to pregnant for 5 years straight". Ohhh myyyy. How much more can I take. If he was that incensitive before his "wonderful" news, how can I possibly see them? It's guartenteed that he's going to just blurt out and say something. It's like he doesn't even know or care what he's doing. My mother-in-law (his mum) has taken him aside and told him several times but he just deosn't seem to care. I can't deal with him or the whole thing at the moment.

My sister (the phsycologist) has suggested starting a journal. She said that it helps to get all your feelings out and written down. She said that once written down you can start to make sense of what your feeling and it stops you from bottling things up. This forum has helped though which in some way is similar to a journal (writing down thoughts) and so far you girls have been wonderful. Family can only say so much to make you feel better but at the end of the day they really don't know what your going through.

[linda]

Although i havent been able to fall pregnant and cant say i know what you have been through, i have been with my partner for 5 years, not using protection for 3 and have not fallen pregnant.. I have tried and tried and tried yet i still get my regular periods every month on the same exact day!

when i tried the first month i ended up being late the next month, then the next then the next.. its like im trying to fall pregnant but then it misses it.. I feel shattered as to knowing i have endometriosis and cysts.. which i blame myself for not being able to fall pregnant! i have thought of IVF as well but am too scared to try it... whereas my sister has concieved 3 times just like that but i cant, she even suggested that she will carry my baby for me. To me i am appreciative of it but i cant do it.. to me it will feel like its her baby not mine because i didnt carry it.

I wish you all the best if you do go forward with it.. and i will pray for all you ladies out there who are trying to fall pregnant and have tried for so long.. I pray for all you ladies who have lost your own and will conceive again in no time..

Until then, i will still keep trying!
Linda

[helle]

Since I lost Jayvan I have had a pregnancy announcement each month. I know exactly how you feel! It's very hard... but I've learnt that I'm happy for the people that get "lucky", I'm just sad for myself & DF that we haven't been able to experience the same joy yet. The same goes as when I see someone pregnant, and think wow I should be 34 weeks now, that should be me!!

TTC is such a huge life lesson, especially after a loss. It teaches patience above all else, which is a very hard lesson to learn and a hard way to learn it! So far we have been trying for 3 months. I know 3 months sounds like nothing, but for me it's a big deal. I'm only 21, and generally the stereotype is 21 year olds can get pregnant just by looking at each other We're now taking 3 months off as I'm horribly run down and our Dr's said that it would do me and bub more good in the long run. Patience Patience!

After losing our bub I would cry everytime I saw my SIL little bub, who was 6 months old at the time. It really did make her feel aweful for making me so upset (and I felt aweful for making her feel that way!) but they understood, your SIL should understand your emotions as well.

My suggestion to you is to join BellyBelly and meet all the amazing woman that have gone through similar things has what you have. It's nice to know that we're not alone in this, and that we are to some extent "normal" even though we are all forced together by something not so nice.

good luck chick xx

[Miss Smiles]

i feel as if the whole world is falling pregnant except me. I was 1 day off being 6months when I lost my baby due to still born. We have being trying since the end of last year however recently I found out that my sister in law is pregnant. I was to happy for her but at the same time i dont know how I am meant to feel. I just thought that I would fall pregant sooner. It sucks trying becausse in the past i have fallen pregnant easily and now I am not having the same luck. I have tried everything from doing things right to doing things wrong and still nothing is working and every month is a disappointment. Just wish things were different

[Tegam]

Just an idea and i dont know if someone else has mentioned it but do you also think that you are mourning the loss of giving the family the 1st grandchild? It might be why you were ok with the friends but angry at the SIL? I think that is perfectly normal and just another thing that people dont realise whats involved in a loss.

Im so sorry you are sad~!