Thanks Monnie, your absolutely right. I just need to take some time to wrap my head around this and to have some space. Talk about space. My Mother-In-Law called last night (again). We do have call display so I called out to my husband saying that it was for him. 2 minutes later he came to me, handed me the phone and said it was for me. I froze. I just couldn't do it. It sounds silly I know especially when you have a mother-in-law like mine. She's absolutely gorgeous and have known her for 12 years so she's just a really good friend. I couldn't talk to her though. I don't want her to hear or see me upset as it's her other son who is having the baby. I can't say anything that may seem nasty whether it's intentional or not as it's her son.

She's a sweety though. My husband came back into the ktchen and said that she's got this afternoon off and if I'd like she can come over with a tub of chocolate icecream and two spoons. I just can't do it, emotionally. Also I've got the afternoon booked with clients so the last thing I need is for them to come around and see me all puffy red eyed from crying.

My brother-in-law is very incensitive. He knows that we've lost a baby a year ago and have since had trouble concieving/investgative surgery etc and then to also know that we have to go through the IVF process if we want to be successful but he still makes very inappropriate comments. We'd be at the family table and he'd just blurt out in front of everyone including myself and my husband "when I knock kelly up..." and "Kelly's going to have one by her feet, one in her arms and one in the oven!" and "if I have anything to do with it Kelly's going to pregnant for 5 years straight". Ohhh myyyy. How much more can I take. If he was that incensitive before his "wonderful" news, how can I possibly see them? It's guartenteed that he's going to just blurt out and say something. It's like he doesn't even know or care what he's doing. My mother-in-law (his mum) has taken him aside and told him several times but he just deosn't seem to care. I can't deal with him or the whole thing at the moment.

My sister (the phsycologist) has suggested starting a journal. She said that it helps to get all your feelings out and written down. She said that once written down you can start to make sense of what your feeling and it stops you from bottling things up. This forum has helped though which in some way is similar to a journal (writing down thoughts) and so far you girls have been wonderful. Family can only say so much to make you feel better but at the end of the day they really don't know what your going through.