Oh smegs sweetie I know what you mean about people meaning well but in reality you just wish they wouldn't say it. The biggest culprit of it around here atm is my Dh , whenever I feel a little down about my boys he always seems to say "at least you didn't go through childbirth & raise them for a few years first only to lose them then". He gets answered with a swift "shut your mouth" (probably not quite as politely as that either).

Take all the time you need to be at peace with yourself & what you have just been through before you place too many expectations on yourself about how you should be feeling or what you should be doing. Only you & your DH can ever know when things are right for you to try again, or whatever decision it is that you both make.

Sending you big hugs & remember we are always here when you need it.