When DS was very sick in intensive care and not expected to pull through I loved it when people made comments that you would make about any baby. "Hasn't he got his Daddy's eyes?", "What a cutie" etc. Don't ask for medical information unless they start talking about the issues. Ask how they're doing. Surprising the number of people who would ask about Charlie but not us. DH especially. A teddy is a great idea, I got a few presents for Charlie when he was sick. Teddys were awesome, clothes and books etc just made me sad because I didn't know if he'd ever get to use them. But the teddys went in his co in the hospital. Made me feel like people saw him as a real baby not just a sick one.

I'm so sorry for your friends. What an awful, awful thing. Noone should ever lose their children!