thread: What can we do for a friend who has lost her baby?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Sydney
    2,212

    Having Caitlyn acknowledged was so important. She was born. She is our daughter. Recognise she exists!!! I had friends in the UK who sent flowers which was nice because I knew they couldn't visit or give me a hug or even (really) a call. Getting the flowers and a card meant they were thinking of us and that was really important.

    If you have skype / email / FB contact with them, a call in a week or so and then every month or so would be great. It was lovely to be supported initially but it is so isolating in the following few months when your heart is still broken and everyone seems to have moved on but you. You feel like you have no one to talk to and it feels like no one wants to mention the baby you desperately need to talk about.

    Happy to answer any questions - having a distracted day

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Feb 2004
    Melbourne
    11,171

    At the moment I'm trying to organise all the friends in the area to do a pink balloon release on Sunday. I'll take photos & do a video where everyone can say a personal message.

    Thanks Cindy for the star idea, I'm going to organise that as well.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    home sweet home.
    1,995

    What beautiful ideas Sarah, you are a gorgeous friend.

    The only other suggestion I was going to make was to make a donation to the Stillbirth foundation (or the UK association) in her daughters honour.

    The other thing, please don't send a sympathy card, I got so many I just wanted to rip them up. A beautiful hand written note on some nice writing paper will be so much nicer and kinder for her.

    Spring xx

  4. #4
    Registered User

    May 2007
    3,220

    My cousin lost her baby 1 year ago today. I bought her a star in his name.

    I also made sure that I remembered every important anniversary - meaning I sent her a mothers day card, a Christmas momento etc as although he is not here, she is still his mum. I think the most important thing is like others have said, people will begin to forget in a few months, and that will be when it is hardest for them.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Feb 2004
    Melbourne
    11,171

    I just got a message from the daddy. As real as it was before, it just seems so much more real now that bub has a name

    Rest in Peace little Abigail

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Sydney
    2,212

    We have a star for Caitlyn. It is a beautiful and permanent gift. And ditto what Spring said - a beautiful card or note is better than a sympathy card.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Home with my Son :)
    2,611

    Sweet Dreams Abigail..