Ectopic Pregnancy - Help me please

[Jellyblush]

Hello everyone,

I'm posting here hoping that someone might be kind enough to help me through this shock and confusion that I am feeling.

I am 31, and my partner and I have been ttc for a year. We discovered I was pregnant three weeks ago and have been floating on air since.

On Monday I went for a scan as I'd had some spotting. I wasn't concerned as I knew my levels were going up.

Less than 24 hours later I was lying on my sofa with my baby gone, my right tube gone, my left tube damaged, my hope gone, in incredible pain and so dazed that this has all happened so fast.

I am wondering if someone might be around who can help me with some questions I have...

What could have caused this? None of the usual risk factors apply to us, no clamydia, no endo, no operations on that area. Is there some other cause I don't know about?

Is this pain normal? It's 48 hours after my surgery now and my belly is grotesquely distended and I'm in such pain. I can't take painkillers due to the codeine causing severe constipation, but I need to find another way to ease the pain.

When might I expect the pain to ease?

When will this feeling of shock ease? Will it ever?

How can I support my partner? He's been so wonderful taking care of me but he has lost his much wanted baby too and I don't know how to help him - he's from another country with few friends and no family here.

Are there strategies that might help in dealing with pregnant friends, especially those with unwanted pregnancies, or difficult pregnancies? I want to support them but can't stand to listen to them...

I feel like we might never have a child now. It took 12 months to concieve our first one. We are in our thirties. Is it realistic to still hope?

I'm sorry this is a bit of an essay. I don't know where else I can ask these questions. I feel so sad and don't know what to do.

Jelly