what to write

[Rach75]

a friend of mine (not close) gave birth to her little girl at 18 weeks on friday I bought a simple card which says

outside " sometimes there are no perfect words"

inside "...only thoughtful silences that whisper of caring"

I dont know if I should write something besides our thoughts are with you both, should I mention ******* by name ???? I know from personal experience I loved when someone spoke Katy's name but........??? I just

[Visitor9]

Racheal what a beautiful thing to do.
I've lost 2 babies at mid trimester and my friends were completly heartless but people that I wouldn't of thought were great friends were the amazing ones.
I think you should write something that is more personal to them at there time, I dont know what you thought but when losing my girls it was nice to be acknowledged that I did have a little baby "too small to live but big enough to change peoples lives". Little things like how blessed the baby was to have parents that so dearly wanted. I hated all the religious stuff because although catholic I wondered why I was being punished.Just all the wonderful things that make them feel like there little one is remembered and as you said there is nothing like someone speaking or writing your little ones name down rather than being remembered as the first one and the second one!!
Bec

[jlk]

What a wonderful thing to do, I would put bubs name down, for me, i liked to have my little girl acknowleged with her name!
Hugs to your friend!

[Rach75]

thanks girls

[Lynn]

I would mention bubs name. For me it is about acknowledging Cooper and for people to say his name...............he is a person, he is real. big hugs to your friend and what a special friend you are for caring

[tempus moriendi]

Don't be afraid to mention the baby's name. Your friend mentioned her name to you, so I'm sure she'd be okay with it. Good luck to her, and that's so thoughtful of you to send a card. It is hard to know what to say...

[Rach75]

I did mention her name but I was worried as I had heard about everything thru my mum who has been friends with her mum since they were 5

are really needed for my friend she suffered sever PND with her other 2 chcildren and is on the same track again according to my mum I hope she pulls thru for her 2 chcildren and her little angel

[chris]

Rach
The card is a great idea. Also if you know her why don't you get your mum and go and see her (have a girls day with your mum's ) she might like someone to talk to. I had PND and my friends were no help at all and talking is the best thing as you can get all your worries out.
Take care
chris

[Rach75]

chris that would be great but i live 2 hrs from her and my mum lives 2hrs from me and 1.5hrs from her.............

[MistyFying]

Rachel that's a really thoughtful gesture. I'm glad you decided to mention your friend's baby's name. I do think it demonstrates to the baby's parents that her little life did matter, and that their pain and loss does mean something.... it matters.

[Peach]

That is a lovely thing to do. I would definatly mention the babies name. Reading the card she will probably be emotional and sometimes that a good thing, to grieve and let it all out. Very sad time
Jen

[*PinkLilly*]

Sometime, just a simple "our thoughts are with you" is all that is needed.