When someone doesn't remember...

[luna moth]

I was out with friends this morning. Two of them I had previously told about my past miscarriage, and it took a huuuuuuuge amount of balls for me to tell them. The other one has just had a d&c after a miscarriage at 12 weeks. We dont get along fabulously, but I mustered up all the compassion I had, and, in order to support her, was telling her a bit about my experience.

One of the others, hearing this, said "oh my god, did you have a miscarriage?" I really distinctly remember telling her about it, and her reaction - loving and supportive.

I'm a little bit gutted that she doesn't remember. I don't know why, I just am.

Has anybody else had this happen?

[MLR1901]

Well not quite but my MIL told me not to remember the other pregnancies because they obviously weren't healthy.
Sadly she wonders why I haven't been telling her much!
Hugs to you. Xx

[Sunny Love]

No, never. Everybody that knows me knows I lost my first pregnancy and my DS' twin. Ppl don't just forget something like that and the impact it has on your own life. It alters you slightly for a long time, if not forever. How could anyone forget?

Even if it had 'slipped' her memory, she should've shut up, and not let on that she'd forgotten. Silly friend, you should set her straight next time you can, in a positive way.
xx

[KitFaerie]

Oh. My. Goodness. She forgot????? I'd be devastated. I'm not sure how I'd get through the rest of the conversation without going ''Really? REALLY?? You FORGOT?''

I've had someone forget, but it was someone I didn't expect much from, so I was able to brush it off after a significant amount of ranting at them in my head.

My estimation of the friendship would take a deep dive.

[Hope.Positive.Love]

sadly yes.....

When we had our most recent loss, last Nov, everyone was supportive towards DH and i and giving us love, then our close friend who granted we hadn't seen in a while pipes up and says "ooh hun it's terrible when things like this happen, a friend of mine had a m/c a few years ago and totally lost it and couldn't cope, it was quite sad really, but you are doing so well considering...."

That "friend" was me, and i did totally lose it hello just lost a baby!!!! When i reminded her it was me, the look on her face was priceless, needless to say she's not a big part of this pregnancy!!!

I'm so sorry that you're friend forgot, we as parents will never forget, the rest of the world continues but we think our family and friends would remember..... Hugs xxxx

[Cassius2]

I had that with DH and it was a really big deal for me as i had held my little wee bubs in my hand in the bathroom and *somehow* he forgot about it in one of our appts with the midwife.

it sucks!

[luna moth]

My estimation of the friendship would take a deep dive.

She was giving me a foot massage at the time. A marriage proposal worthy foot rub.

Part of me is quietly glad that I haven't been labelled "the one that had the miscarriage" because I did kind of go a bit loopy at the time, and it's nice to have busted out of that. Maybe it's weird, but I like having friends who don't know.