Is this harsh?

[Antheia]

I just hope DH can be tough too. He's so lenient. He knows it's the right thing to do but he's such a push over when it comes to the kids.

[Mak]

Perhaps lose the nappy in the am and then perhaps you let him choose between the toilet and the potty when he needs to go - just so he can have some say?
I think just firm and convinced in the morning tell him what the plan is and then move on with the day. FWIW we thought we'd never get there and now DD1 has a certain love for public loos much to my horror.
Every one has their challenges, we have sleep issues here and a good friend of mine has eating dramas - you will get there!!! xxxx

[Antheia]

Wow this is going to be tougher than i thought.. DS just asked me to change him cause he is wet. So i said how about you use the toilet instead. He refused so i said well you have to learn youre a big boy now and he just hit me with a ball. Man, why can't things be simple? :-(

[Trillian]

Don't give him options. If he has options, then he has an opportunity to get his own way - which is to wear a nappy. At 4, he is more than able to understand what you are trying to get him to do. What he did just now, he doesn't realise that you are deadly serious about him doing it. You are going to need all the strength you have to not cave in on this, so you will need to be prepared for lots of fights and tears (and that's just from you! ) and most importantly, it might take a week or more, but you have to stay strong throughout it. If DH can't be as strong as you, do it on your own and get him to help you with other things instead while you concentrate on doing it.

[Antheia]

Ok well may as well start right now then lol. Still havent put a nappy on him. He's just standing there crossing his legs begging DH to give him a nappy. DH is ignoring this thankfully. He won't put any pants on either.

[kirsty_lee]

Yep, dont let him see that its upsetting you hun. Just reiterate if he needs to go then he can go to the toilet like a big boy and keep going on with what your doing.

[Trillian]

Don't worry about him not having any pants on for the time being. This will be the first challenge for you to get to bedtime without a nappy. Perhaps tell him in a really casual way that he can't have a nappy until he goes to bed at night and just move on to something else and not make a big deal out of it. One other thing I thought of too is perhaps he doesn't want to be a 'big boy'. He sees you with Orson and Jackson and no doubt you spend more time with them as you do with babies and he might be feeling a little out of place. Maybe instead of saying 'big boy' say 'Charlie wears jocks/undies now' and see how that goes?

[Antheia]

So what should i do if he goes on the floor?

Never had to do any of this with DD. She learnt in 2 days day and night.

He's now curled up on the lounge trying to hold it in. I feel so bad

[~Hestia~]

I haven't read the responses, nor am I experienced in TT yet, but I just want to wish you luck! Hope it all goes smoothly for you both.

[Trillian]

So he definitely needs to go? Just say to him, 'lets go and sit on the toilet so your belly doesn't hurt anymore' and see if that will get him to go. You don't think he's really bashful about it do you? That was part of the problem with DS1 - he couldn't stand the idea that someone knew he was doing a wee or poo and prefered to be alone in the toilet once I'd put him on there.

[kirsty_lee]

Babe, dont feel bad. Honestly there is only so long that kid is gonna be able to hold it in before he wets himself. If he goes on the floor then just get him to help clean it up. Don't get angry or make a big deal. Maybe something like 'oh no woops lets clean it up' and give him a piece of paper towel etc and get him to help. He is testing you right now babe. Big time.

[Heaven]

I don't know much about TT yet but sounds like you're having a hard time. FWIW I think you're doing the right thing though. Stay strong! You can do this!

[Enchanted]

I agree with everyone else babe, be tough. I think he needs a bit of a push and he needs to know there isn't going to be any other option.

It will be tough but persist and you guys will get there. Good luck xo

[luna moth]

So what should i do if he goes on the floor?

Get him to help you clean it up, so that he is taking responsibility for it. If you have to do this mroe than once, maybe casually mention how much easier it is for him to just use the toilet.

BE strong. He needs this from you, and I think you're doing the right thing.

[Antheia]

DH took him to the toilet a few times but he just stood there saying no. No sure what else to do? We've asked him if he is scared but he doesn't really answer so i don't think he is. He waited until his bed time nappy to do a wee...

[kirsty_lee]

Just keep persevering babe. I know its hard and i know you probably feel like its not going to get better but it will if you keep going.

[Boo Boo]

This is probably way off, does he have a fave soft toy that could sit on top of the toilet and be his friend while he goes (if the reason he doesn't want to go is because he is scared). Good luck, I really think, if you don't do it now it will only be harder and harder and now that you have started on the path to just keep up the momentum. xxx

[Spring Angel]

Just another suggestion. If you have a portable DVD player let him take it in to the loo with him and tell him to sit there and watch a movie. I have a friend that tried this (her DS was terrified of doing poos) and it helped distract his mind so his body just went through the motions IYKWIM. She just gave the DVD player a clean with an anti bacterial wipe afterwards to be clean it.