PLEASE HELP!!!Why is she doing this and what do i do????

[1pj]

My DD is 2years and nearly 2 months,ive started toilet training and its a disaster,i thought that there would be alot of messes and was prepared but nope its worse than that so i just wanted some advice please im begging!!so what she does is holds on and on,she knows a wee because she says to me do a wee,so i have been leaving the nappy off for few months now but started trying properly yesterday and so ive been leaving the nappy off and i honestly dont even have to ask her she says do a wee but will never do one!!So she holds on and on and then keeps holding herself down there and crying and crossing legs and crying because shes obviously busting its awful so i keep trying getting her on the toilet or potty and she wont go she refuses just sits there crying and saying no no but yet i know she has to go bad so i keep trying to put her on there but she never ever wets her self i thought if she did then at least she could get the feel of it running down her legs but she wont do it and i know your probably all saying well just leave her and she will soon enough but she wont she just keeps holding and crying and then she starts grabbing a nappy and crying and getting on the bed with the nappy as if to say please put the nappy on and she gets in such a state i give in then she does a big wee,im not a strong person but dont get me wrong im not a push over but she just gets so upset is it normal?should i keep trying to push her or should i try pull ups?or should i give up for a while would you mums say shes ready if shes getting so upset and why does she hold on for so long ive never heard of it!!I just feel real frustrated as we caught 2 wees in the loo yesterday but that was after alot of upset and stress and i think only coz she literally was so busting she wet herself i mean theres so much when she goes.and if she was just wetting all over the place fine id keep going but this upset is awful for both of us

[Swoop]

I haven't been through this stage with my DD yet, but it definitely sounds like she's not ready yet. I'd say go back to nappies for now and try again in a couple of months. There's no point making it a battle.

[skybie]

maybe she's just not ready yet hun, maybe give it a miss for a couple of months and try again, i know we tried a few times before DD1 was actually ready at 3yrs

[Olive]

shes not ready darl, id try again in a few months

[Sterla]

I haven't been through this stage with my DD yet, but it definitely sounds like she's not ready yet. I'd say go back to nappies for now and try again in a couple of months. There's no point making it a battle.

Yup, exactly that.

We haven't even tried with DS yet because he hasn't shown us any signs of being ready. I'm sure if you leave it a few months and try again she will take to it better .

[Ozziehoffy]

Personally, if she's getting that distraught I would most definitely leave it for now. I never toilet trained... I let Oskar lead the way. He was TT for wees for a long time before he did a poo on the toilet. He was 3 1/2 before that came but probably wees from about hmmm 2 1/2 perhaps? He used to carry on like you're describing when it came to poos... so I didn't force the issue, he would get that distressed at even mentioning or asking if he wanted to try it. So, he would ask for a nappy. I think if you keep trying to force it and she's already so distraught about it that it will make a much longer journey for you and I think that it will hinder her moving forward. She could be afraid of the big hole or something... and to us it all makes no sense at all... but to them obviously it does.

Oh and the amusing part of Oskar and poos now is that he reckons his little brother should do them on the toilet haha if only he remembered how long it took him and that Elijah isn't even 2 yet.

[Purple Penguin]

If it's horrible for both of you I would defnitely give it a break for now, it sounds like she's not quite ready yet. Don't stress about it there's plenty of time.

[~Ash~]

I found with my DD the easiest thing I could do was wait until she wanted to - I kept the potty on view all day and we talked about wee and poo going into the toilet - it didn't take long for her to want to. It did seem like it took 3 goes to get it right though - she would be going potty perfectly for weeks and then regress and end up back in pull ups for a week or so before she wanted to try again.

She will be toilet trained eventually - there is no reason to push her into it - they already grow up so fast without is encouraging it lol - Good luck!!!!

[1pj]

thanks guys it was too upsetting for both of us thanks selina,i remember you saying i just feel so many people are saying shes too old to be in nappys and i know i shouldnt listen but i dont want it to be upsetting for her thanks again i sooooo needed this today!!

[skybie]

lol dont listen to the detractors! she'll do it when she's ready, my DD1 still wears a nappy to bed and she's 5 in august! all kids are different, i'm sure she'll take to it like a fish to water when she's ready and honestly it doesnt sound like she's too far off

[Ozziehoffy]

I agree with Skye... and after all she's only 2 hun. Oskar wears nappy pants to bed and he's 4 this weekend. We call them special undies though Cos he was still only just poo training at that time and asked if he could poo in them but we said well they're undies and do you really want to do a poo in your undies? lol. She'll get there, really she will. Ask these people if they were ALL exactly the same age when they stopped wearing nappies etc...

[1pj]

its such a relief to hear all this thanks so much for that ive taken a breather now!and even had a few giggles from your posts!I just couldnt understand i thought she would have accidents and things but it would be a uhoh and maybe a long process and shed get it eventually but all this crying and upset is awful!I was ready to deal with the other things but not that,so i guess i will put it off for a while,and try not take notice of the people asking...funny its always older people...and its all my fault shes not trained bla bla thats it we are going out for a much needed cuppa and treat!! whoops just editing here one other thing.....(,for when she IS ready),what are huggies training pants for exactly?The pull ups,I know sounds crazy but i was under the impression when you used them you use them as undies to get used to pulling them down and also the feeling of being wet but are you meant to just put them in them all day sort thing?My sister(her kids are all from ages 16-20 now)said she would leave her in just undies at home and only take training pull up things if out or something is that how theyre meant to be used or all the time?bit confused on that too :S they seem just like a nappy is all ugh so many things

[~Kim~]

It's so hard isn't it pj?

I've only ever used pullups at night so not really much help with that.

My DD was very much like yours, and then all of a sudden one day (not joking about the time either) she just agreed to undies and never looked back. It flicked for her and she 'got it'.
I do understand the worrying though. Like Skye, my DD is 5 in May and only in the last couple of months stopped wearing a nappy to bed. Even the MCHN gave me grief about it, but i stuck to my guns and let her do that in her own time too. Sure enough, one day it just worked.