DS is almost 3 and a half and is still 'toilet training'. When he is asked (every 1-2 hours or so), he will generally (although he can be a bit reluctant at times) do a wee in potty and he will even stand up and use the 'big' toilet or a urinal to do wees if he is out. He will even (when he is placed on the potty because he is showing signs he is about to do a poo) do a poo in potty. However, despite two weeks of full on training ie. knickers, rewards/star charts/praise/songs/chats/books/demonstrations/wees in multiple public toilets, he is still not showing any sign of indicating when he needs to go. Most annoyingly, he has recently taken to pooing in the bathtub during his bath, despite being sat on the potty only minutes before. Today he weed while sitting in his pram and proceeded to sit on it for a full hour (until we discovered the accident when we got him out of the pram to take him to the toilet and then protested at being changed). My questions are as follows:
1) For those that trained their child using the 'sit him/her on the toilet every hour' method, how long did it take for their child to 'catch on' and actually start volunteering to use the toilet when they needed to go (or at least telling you that they needed to do a wee/poo)?
2) My personal feeling is that he is not telling me he needs to go because he does not know when he needs to go. Does this mean he is not ready and should I therefore take a break from things until he shows more signs of readiness? We started 'officially' toilet training about 2 weeks ago because his kinder teachers said he was 'ready' ie. he was staying dry for up to 2 hours at a time (sometimes even overnight) but does this mean he's 'ready' when he still doesn't seem to know when he needs to go? He has been able to go for longer stretches for some time but we have tried and abandoned toilet training attempts in the past because he has shown no inclination to tell us when his bladder is full. Sometimes he will even refuse to go altogether despite the fact that you know he needs to go and you need to keep asking him to keep trying every 15 minutes or so, otherwise he will (and usually does) wee in his pants/on the floor the minute your back is turned.
3) Is is possible that he might not know because he has a UTI but has no symptoms?
Sorry about the mammoth post, but I am getting desperate because he needs to be fully TT to do 4 year old kinder next year (which is why his childcare have suddenly taken an interest) but as they themselves are finding, the only way for him to 'stay dry' is to sit him on the toilet every hour or so in the hope of catching him before he does it in his pants or on the floor. BTW they are having even less luck with no. 2s than we are and he routinely soils his pants at kindergarten.
Has anyone had a similar experience and can tell me what you did?
My first suggestion would be to stop taking him to the toilet every hour. Fill him up with water and let him work it out for himself.. Ask him if he needs to go but only take him if you think he is about to wee.. He might learn the feelings of a full bladder himself if you know what I mean
I normally would sit my kids on the toilet every half hour or so for the first few days then as they started understanding I would gradually just ask if they needed to go but would only take them if they hadn't been or asked in a while
Yes I actually backed off the asking every hour thing last week and just let DD have a few accidents. Then I explained "when you feel it in your tummy you have to run to the toilet". My dd is a bit younger though, so that idea was fun to her. Now you hear her laugh and say "quick, quick" and run to the toilet or potty.
Its SO hard not to get cross at them for accidents (especially in public) but try and just be upbeat and positive and say "oops, we didn't run to the toilet" and "lets try next time". It might also help if you start saying things like "mummy can feel a wee in her tummy, quick I have to go to the toilet" and run.
Its weird, but DD seemed to get everything else about toilet training except for that small step - when you feel it coming, run to the loo.
not sure if that helps, but it was a turning point for us.
Thanks for the suggestions. We will just have to keep plugging on I've decided. I have been letting him go for longer between toilet trips, but he just doesn't seem to 'get' it and he will claim that he does not need to go and then wet himself, 5 minutes later (a bit tiring convincing him to sit on the potty when you know he needs to go but he just won't cooperate). Ah well.
Should I Keep Going?
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