is there ever a time for punishment during TT'ing?

[Heaven]

No, I don't think punishment is helpful either. And it's not effective so don't bother. Good luck, How frustrating xx

[onthefly]

My son was like this a bit, in that he was back and forth and it took ages to finally get there (a year). Then, one day, it just clicked and that was it.

[BhoysGirl]

I agree, punishment is not the answer. If rewards/stickers don't work, then the opposite won't either.
I also agree with Efjay - don't ask him, just tell him that it's time, and don't make it an option. Don't have to be mean about it, just matter of fact but non-negotiable. If he's in the middle of something, maybe give him a 2 minute advance warning, but then follow through.

I'd also be prepared to revert back to nappies for a while, but that's me - I'd rather clean a nappy than clean a mess

[Gigi]

i think i would put him in waterproof trainers for home - less to clean up. Just like for tt-ing, e.g when he's on the sofa, put picnic tablecloth under him, to make clean up easier. If he says "why?", you can say, it's only for now, when you start using the toilet at home, we can stop using the trainers and the picnic tablecloth.

[onthefly]

sometimes just putting them back in nappies and forgetting about it for a while helps

[Doing my best]

I agree, punishment is not the answer. If rewards/stickers don't work, then the opposite won't either.
I also agree with Efjay - don't ask him, just tell him that it's time, and don't make it an option. Don't have to be mean about it, just matter of fact but non-negotiable. If he's in the middle of something, maybe give him a 2 minute advance warning, but then follow through.

I'd also be prepared to revert back to nappies for a while, but that's me - I'd rather clean a nappy than clean a mess

Totally agree with this.. My DS born august 09 is so hit and miss with toilet.. Today he pooped in undies twice.. One was even under our bed on the carpet.. When I asked him why he said 'cause you were outside and couldn't take me to the toilet'.. Any other time, he is telling me to go away so he can have peace on the toilet..

[blondedoctor]

Totally agree with this.. My DS born august 09 is so hit and miss with toilet.. Today he pooped in undies twice.. One was even under our bed on the carpet.. When I asked him why he said 'cause you were outside and couldn't take me to the toilet'.. Any other time, he is telling me to go away so he can have peace on the toilet..

James is only 2 months older than yours Doing My Best and sounds similar. Any accident, his response to Why is invariably something like "I was watching tv", "I didn't want to go inside" etc. Silly little things like that that are so frustrating.

To be clear, I've not gone into the realm of punishment, I just feel incredibly frustrated and sometimes it seems like there is nothing else! However, as so many of you have suggested, one thing I havent done is get him to clean up his own mess. I've always had him go get clean undies and clothes, but DH and I have always cleaned up. Great idea - I'll start him on that for the next accident.

Sometimes he has said things like "I like it when you clean my bum", and seeing as there are no accidents when we are out and about, none at childcare, and minimal when its just DH and him, having him clean himself (rather than me do it) shoudl take away some of the fun for him. Fingers crossed this works.

[Doing my best]

To be clear, I've not gone into the realm of punishment, I just feel incredibly frustrated and sometimes it seems like there is nothing else! However, as so many of you have suggested, one thing I havent done is get him to clean up his own mess. I've always had him go get clean undies and clothes, but DH and I have always cleaned up. Great idea - I'll start him on that for the next accident.

I understand your frustration.. But my sanity saver is knowing that it really does just click.. He is my 2nd child, so I have seen it just click before.. And you don't tend to believe it happens, no matter how many times people tell you, until you have seen it for yourself.. Hang in there

[Floweryfields]

I would agree with Efjay - at daycare there would be expectation that he goes when requested at certain times of day. We have children we know need extra reminders and so we ask them to go throughout the day apart from regular toilet times.
I would give him clear expectations explaining as you go, 'yesterday you wee'd your pants when you forgot to go to the toilet, so I want you to go when mummy asks you to so that doesn't happen today' kind of thing.
As for punishment regarding tt, nope, I wouldn't. However like others have said, I would expect him to help clean up when he does have an accident. I've done that with the 5 year old 'can't be bothered holding on to my penis' boys at work who handsfree flail it everywhere and consequently wee on the seat (cause they fail to remember to lift it) and floor, with gentle explanation that the girls don't want to sit in their wee and no one wants to stand in it either!