Wiping own bottom at nearly 4?

[AndiE]

what do you think ladies? Should I be speaking to the director?

Yeah, I would. At our boys age, they might not have accidents in their undies any more, but it doesn't necessarily mean they don't need a little bit of assistance till they totally get the hang of it I wipe DS1's backside, though he will have a go. Trouble is, he'll pull reams of toilet paper off the roll if DH or I aren't close by. And while he can wipe his bottom, he doesn't do a great job of it.

So getting back to your question, I think it's not an unreasonable expectation, when he's still learning to wipe his bottom properly, that his carers can't take the 30 seconds or so to give him a quick check, or wipe. Particularly if it means he might be uncomfortable and/or sore around his bottom for the duration of his day at care.

[LuluHB]

My almost 4 and almost 5 year olds do it for themselves but both sometimes still need help for icky poos. DD1 will call out for help and then say "You hold my bum open Mummy and I'll wipe"!! Lovely!

DD1 was at kindy last year and DD2 starts in a week, and I know the lucky kindy teacher and assistant check the kids' bottoms. Given that, I'd definitely be complaining that a childcare centre doesn't help the kids too. Other than it not being fair on the kids, its probably self preservation on their part so they don't have pooey trails through the centre.

[Astrid]

With DD1 when she was still at childcare she would just yell until her carer came to help her, think she was just 4yo then. Her carer just used to laugh about her yelling "Ruth!! Come wipe my bottom!"

It was really when 4yo Kinder started (DD1 turned 5 that year), that the teachers were very adamant about not helping her. I think she used to ask, but they just told her no. She seemed to cope ok. Her main problem is if she is "sloppy", all it takes is a bit of a poo on the hand incident and she goes back to wanting us to help all the time.

With DD2, whilst initially it is great that she wipes herself, it makes it hard to know what is going on. The poor little thing is prone to constipation and wont tell us Also as she wipes herself, childcare can't tell us either if they think she is constipated, so it is normally quite bad before we work it out.

[Yael]

We also have problems about DS doing a good job. He will do it by himself at school, but sometimes ask for help here mainly because we do ther check and I think he lost confidence. The only reason I have to check is because if he leaves a bit of poo there it seems to irritate him and then I need to use nappy rash cream. I found if he squatted and then wiped it seems to hep with the arms length thing. Also giving them nappy wipes to wipe with helps as it isn't so much friction also helped.

[misty]

Thank god it's not just my DS1. I was starting to panic, he is starting preschool next week, and we have been trying to practice; but although he ends up with poo all over the seat, his hands and everywhere else when he tries to wipe his bum, he seems to miss the toilet paper altogether! I am thinking I am going to have to warn his teachers, but am afraid I might get the speil about him not being properly toilet trained. I just have no idea how else to teach him.

[Cally]

DD is just over 4 and can do it herself, but seems to prefer DH doing it (even if I am in there with her, she will call out for him). She is encouraged to do it herself at childcare, but they will check that she has done it properly - but that is only within the last 6 months, prior to that they would do it for her. At home we have the wet wipes and she bends and spreads to show us how clean it is on the few occasions she does it herself. Which is fine in the bathroom, not so good when she and her cousin are doing it through the doorway when we have people over......