advice needed on how to best support my cousins.

[Dansta]

mods if i've posted this in the wrong spot feel free to move.

this may be a little disjointed because this has happened rather fast.

My cousins are expecting twin girls - fraternal. they'd been given a delivery date of early September, so she's currently 31w6d. but that changed today with an u/s twin A is having issues with blood flowing though the cord so most of the blood is going to her head (a survival thing my cousin was told my the doctor) and twin B is fine. Twin A is the worry. they're worried enough that by this time next week both girls will be earth side. my cousins wife is in hospital until they're born.

what can i do to help them? i've told my cousin that the door is open any time and a hot meal is always going to be there. what can i do for his wife? she'll be in hospital - 45mins each way and with two little ones it'll be hard for DH and I to get down there. what kind of things can i get/do to help the time pass while she's waiting for her baby girls to arrive?
i guess my other question is at this gestation would they likely be going to NICU or SCN? i know that they're in the best place ECT but i guess im looking for infomation to arm myself and DH will as it seems we'll be the "rock" for my cousin at least so i'm trying to get some info for DH to understand so he can give him as much support as he needs with out being lost with whats happening.

Thank-you in advance.

[jesses_girl]

To pass the time.... lots and lots and lots of magazines/books/ipod.... At the nicu here there was a computer with internet access... im not sure about gestational ages but im quite sure unless they need very minimal breathing assistance they will be going to nicu first. I hope the little ones wont be on the cpap machine as thats a long road of ups and downs (for me it was anyway) Make sure she is eating properly, and drinking lots of water, the hospital should supply water anyway and some choccies :-) But unless they ask for visitors, i'd stay away., for me i didnt get DS to myself for the whole 2 and a half weeks he was in, and i didnt bond properly. Im not good at advice lol but your cousin will pull through and it does get better and soon enough when she gets home she wont think about hospital everyday (hugs)

[Little Chicken]

I know in Perth the gestational age cut off for SCN vs NICU is 32 weeks however that changes if they have breathing issues or other problems.
Do they live close? Could you do some cleaning or laundry for them so she doesn't come home to a messy house (not knowing what your cousin is like!) Or cook some meals for the freezer so she doesn't have to provide meals for herself when she comes home? I know one mum I looked after, one of her family members provided two weeks of pre made lunches for her to take with her when she visited her bubs as the cafeteria food was quite expensive.

[*Beema*]

Firstly some big it can be so scary when suddenly things change and the impending arrival of your child/children is suddenly brough forward and you are looking at having a prem, pass on some big :hugs: to your cousin.

I would say based on what you have written that due to one of the twins having bleeding to the brain that it is highly likely that Twin A will end up in NICU, and Twin B may be separated in SCN, but until they are delivered this isn't a question that can realistically be answered. Interesting information muminlice I have never heard of a "cut off" gestation in any NICU, it really comes down to the baby itself rather than the gestation. I know a lot of prem 32 weeks and later who have been admitted directly to NICU for a variety of reasons not just breathing.

Some of the things I can suggest how you and your DH can help out
Make some meals to freeze, ie lasagnes/mornays/stews/soup and the like that way you don't have to deliver or cook a number of nights you could do a big cook up as such, ready for when she comes home.
Mow lawns
Cleaning
There is nothing like a nice home cooked meal while in hospital, or some tasty snacks, drinks etc.
Food they can eat on the go are really good because sometimes you just don't have time to stop, ie home made trail bars or muesli bars, fruit, banana bread, savoury scones, because being in and out of NICU all day the hospital food can still get tiring and sometimes it is easier to just grab something from a machine.

For mum
Do you know if she is going to breast feed or express, the ABA book for Breast Feeding for Premature Babies is really valuable
There is some great information here on breastfeeding twins from the ABA, and here for Breast Feeding Premature Babies
Books, magazines, TV (she may have to pay for it)
A journal so that she can write down her feelings and what she and her new babies are going through, it can be such a valuable thing to have, and it can really help to write thigns down.

Take care and I hope they have a smooth arrival and I am glad that things have been picked up and she is under care xxoo

[Dansta]

thanks girls. i'll hopefully be able to do some baking this weekend for them. i just have to find out what my aunt/other family are doing before i jump the gun - dont want to put any noses out of joint!

i got a call from my cousin today and the twins will be earth side thursday. they're useing the French doors (c-cect) to enter this world. which has made my cousin (and his wife) more relaxed. they have an "end date" and they also know whats going to happen (and when) then the next step happens, which will be a whole new ball game for all involved. they'll be born at 32w2d(ish) will that mean they're in a humiddie crib? or an open one? i ask because im thinking of finding some postive sayings and seeing if my cousin would like them on the out side of the cot.

i have got a small bag packed for my cousin, but we may not see her until the weekend the bag has maternity pads and NB nappies. plus some bigger cut shirts she may get some use of out seeing as they're all font buttoning shirts she can express/give skin to skin cuddles with minimal fuss. i've bought some orange and poppy seed muffin mix to make up and take in as well. i'm just hoping that the little girls have a smooth road ahead of them.

[*Beema*]

Sounds like you have some great things organised

Can't answer the questions in relaiton to the isolette and open cots, only once they are delivered will they know, they may have some trouble regulating their temps so I would expect isolettes for a while, DD was in and out of hers, initially on o2 and a heated isolette, then open cot, then back in under Billi lights for Jaundice.

But for either you can make up little signs, make them about A6-A5 size, and get them laminated Photos of their family are also lovely one's to put up

I pray that all goes smoothly for them tomorrow
Take care and you are doing a beautiful thing xxoo