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Thread: Bonding

  1. #91
    tiggy Guest

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    Hey girls, Bec, Carrie, Odette and Kitten2b

    Thanks. 8-[



    Bec, I agree that a general chatter would be great! Hope the mods think so too. As for now, I'll just pester you through PM and this thread!! LOL
    It's very hard to describe how I am feeling but I am glad that he is not in any pain anymore. It's kind of a relief but sad that he is gone.

    Ivy and Noah are doing pretty well, I think...

    Ivy is still BF. I think I'm going to give it up because it is just so darn hard somedays, with all the other things I have to do. I have a bad night and I think, yeah, I can't do this anymore but then she makes these gorgeous noises and attaches so well and my heart says, hey! This is you LAST CHANCE to do this and I just keep going. She only sleeps for short periods, getting better in the night. She sort of settles around the 10pm mark and then wakes around 1 - 2am and then usually sleeps until about 6am, real newborn type pattern. I've tried to give her an occasional bottle but it makes no difference.

    Aside from that, she is smiling and looks at me, will follow me if I am wandering around, if someone else is holding her. She's a bit of a vomiter but nothing too bad. She still has that real premmie look but her eyelashes are starting to grow and darken. She's just petite. My mum calls her "Tiny Ivy" and I kind of like it, it suits her. She likes her cuddles (like her brother) and my friend says she looks like a monkey hanging off its mother because she clings to your shirt.

    I feel really sad for Ivy. She is like the consolation prize for David's family. Seeing as I have the monopoly on grandkids at the moment and there are 3 girls and then William (and everything that went along with him) so Noah is like a trophy and everyone on Dave's side just love him to death and so I feel like I need to give Ivy extra TLC. She's still small compared to him too. And she is my baby after all, my last born.

    Noah is what you would call a high maintainance baby. Although he is getting better. He has the tongue tie (I couldn't bring myself to get it snipped under a general after all his breathing issues) and he has reflux and colic. He is on thickened formula and is a BIG boy!! Weighing in at 5kgs already! He'll catch up to your Josh soon!! Having said that he is just adorable. He talks to me and he has this new noise that Dave calls the Michael Jackson cry, a high pitched OWWW sound, he just needs one baby mitten and he'll be set. He has the biggest bluest eyes and oggles anything that goes by. He likes to be the centre of attention, hates it when the dogs lick his feet (when he is having floor time) hates to sleep without a night light, he's just a guy who knows what he likes.
    I have done a whole lot of shopping and he is going to be the best dressed boy in town this winter!! His sleep patterns are eratic but in the night, he only wakes the once and that is starting to get longer too. Last night we put him down at 10ish and he didn't get up again until about 3:45am. Dave does his feed and then sleeps the night away because he still works in Sydney and leaves early.

    I am part of the December group but my babies are just nowhere near where their cherubs are. Carrie, you're in the November group?
    Ivy and Noah were born on the 30th of November, 2 hours shy of December. Would love to chat with you, I will PM you later. Glad to hear that your sweet little girl and you are doing ok now.

    Ok, that enough from me, what a mammoth effort!! Sorry if I've bored you all to tears!

  2. #92

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    you do not bore us at all!!! Never think that . What you wrote was straight from your heart.

    My son tended to get favoured as well as he was my little one - my fighter, as well as the fact that he was still in and out of hospital for the first few years, and yes you do feel sorry for your daughter. We use to just make sure that we pushed both of them onto people, and would say to them, " OK time to swap - Immogen's turn". They would soon get the message

    have you been to a new mums morning tea with the multiple birth ass in your area. you may even find that those girls are great to talk to as more on par due to twin development and higher chance of prem?

  3. #93

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    Hey Tiff and all others posting in here!
    Tiff it's great to hear how your babies are doing. I had a look on your web page and think Ivy and Noah are beautiful! I love the christening wreaths around their heads!
    Kyla also had feeding problems, reflux and colic. I went into the mitcham mother baby unit in December when she was about 3 months, 6 weeks corrected and it was about then that her colic disappeared, after being there she also began to sleep better. It wasn't until she was about 3 months corrected that the chucking settled down. I went into the mother baby unit to try to get her breast feeding properly - her mouth was small and she didn't attach properly and would fall asleep quickly. We finally got her feeding properly and then I was told that the medication I was on was probably sedating her. As I have been on it for so long - and it would have been extreamly difficult to come off - i went to bottle feeding - a VERY difficult and painful decision after all I had gone through to get her on the breast.

    I love looking back at Kyla's really prem pic's - Ivy's remind me of hers - although they don't look like your typical newborn I think they look so precious, special and beautiful. It makes me remember what a batteler Kyla is.

    I also think it would be great to have a PREM/NICU chat thread!!

    Carrie
    - I'll have to put up some of Kyla's really prem pics on my web page

  4. #94

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    Tiff - what fantastic news about Ivy and Noah doing so well, and how fantastically Noah has gained weight!

    I admire you for still b/f! I found breast feeding exhausting with Seren, as she couldn't attach properly so I ended up used a nipple shield. It wasn't a long term solution though, and eventually my milk dried up! When I was b/fing though, I found it physically exhausting - especially at night! I am hoping to b/f baby no.2 for as long as I can, but when it gets too much, I will move onto the bottle again. Is Noah entirely on the bottle now?
    What a shame people favour one baby more than the other! That sounds terribly stressful. Craig, my dh, was worried about that happening when our new baby arrives. Seren is his little girl though, whatever happens. She is a total daddy's girl.


    Seren is doing well. She is still small for dates, and isn't crawling yet (she's 10 months old) but she's trying her best, bless her! We were on the bus yesterday, and there was another 10 month old on the bus and he was actually walking!!! I couldn't believe it! :shock:

    I agree for a premie thread!

  5. #95
    tiggy Guest

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    Hi Carrie,

    Your Kyla and my Ivy ARE very much alike! I loved looking at all your photos too. There is so much similarity! I haven't put alot of my premmie photos up because alot of my family find them distressing but I decided last night I will put them up, (just have to get another photo site first and work out how to use the darn thing). There is one of Noah that I have when he had dropped alot of weight and he has that CPAP shoved up his nose. I look at that alot and think WOW, you have come so far! Ivy too...there were days there in the NICU when I thought we were never going to get out of there!

    I hear you on the BF decision and what a whirlwind time of it you had. Half the time I see saw between wanting to and not. It's painful making that choice to change to bottle, eith alot of guilt associated with it. Have been through that already with Noah and I guess I'm gearing up for those feelings again with Ivy. You did so well to get Kyla on the breast! I think the only reason I have kept it up with Ivy is because she was a good little feeder right from the first bf. Sure it's time consuming and it's every two hours cos her little belly can't hold that much but we don't have any attachment probs and other than the thrush we keep giving each other, there is no pain. Noah of course was another story altogether.

    Gwen,

    Lovely to hear from you! Glad to see your little girl is doing well. My Imogen (1st of the 1st set of twins) didn't do anything until she was 14months old. I was her method of transport until then. I had to carrie her to where ever her sister was, as she was cruising by 10 months and walking by 12. One day she started to crawl and by the end of the week she was walking. It was amazing! Just goes to show you they all get there, just in their own sweet time. It's hard though when you see other babies the same age as your and the comparison is enormous. i am finding that on the December thread. Their babies are doing what three monthers should be doing but my guys are only just smiling!

    To answer your question re Noah, yes, he is fully bottle fed now. Occasionally he will have a go at the breast still but those times are few and far between and really, it's just happening for me, not for his nutrition at all. He is on the Karicare thickened formula.

    Are you scared that your new baby will come early? Do you dread it or do you feel more confident, having had Seren, that you will cope with the NICU? I know that having had all of my babies in the NICU, I felt alot more comfortable than when I had my girls. Especially after the dramas of William.

  6. #96

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    Hi there,
    I know that I've recently started thinking about when I will have another go at the IVF as I don't know how long it will take me to fall pregnant. Luckily we were pregnant the first go with Kyla, but you never know what will happen next time. Anyway, I'm definately worried about having another prem, Kyla was very lucky that she didn't have more issues being 11 weeks early (she was only on CPAP for 4 days), and it's such an emotionally stressful time. I think that next time I will take it very easy during the pregnancy! Kyla was prem due to having a low lying placenta previa which abrupted. The day it happened I had been to the oesteopath who did alot of work around the coxyx (sp?), although the dr. said it would not have been the reason, I always worry that it was. I did, however have braxton hicks from week 18. Who knows???

    Gwen, are your pregnancies through IVF or naturally?

    What do you think is a good gap to leave between children. I want to have another, but want to ensure that Kyla gets enough time and attention also.

  7. #97

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    Carrie - both babies were conceived naturally, and not through IVF. Baby 2 came along quite quickly, and the m/s is awful - I had none with Seren!

    Tiggy - I am a bit worried about this baby being prem, but I have a feeling everything will be ok this time (fingers crossed). You're right though, having a prem baby does mentally prepare you in case it happens again O

  8. #98

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    Awww Tiff, look at those smiles! The new photos are just gorgeous! It sounds like Ivy and Noah are at a really nice stage - the smiles, the recognition when they see you...it's so exciting when things start to click, isn't it? How are you going with Ivy and the BF? You've done so well to stick with it as long as you have. And Noah, 5kg, wow! He *will* catch up to Josh soon! He sounds like a cheeky little fella. I know another certain little boy who is very firm about what he does and doesn't want. Talk about having a mind of their own! How has it been for you having another little boy after William, Tiff? (I hope that's not too personal, just ignore the question if it is).

    Carrie, we've been thinking about when to have the next bub too. I'm not sure what the right age gap is. I guess it is different for everyone. Sometimes I think that I would love to be pregnant again now, but like you, I want to make sure that Joshua gets plenty of one on one time and attention before the next one comes along. We are thinking we might start TTC around the time Josh turns one. That could change though!

    Gwen, it is good to hear that Seren is doing well. How are you going with the m/s? Is it getting any better? How is your BP doing with the new pregnancy? It's good to hear that you are feeling confident about bub #2.

    Josh is doing well - although he gave us a bit of a scare last week which ended with a trip to hospital. He had a really severe vomiting attack one night totally out of the blue. It went for about an hour and the poor little thing was so upset. By the time it was over, he was fine - happy and back to his normal self - but we took him to the local emergency department just to get him checked over. We were there for hours waiting to be seen, but all was ok in the end. The doctor thought he had a reaction to something he ate and was happy to send him back home. Apart from that, things have been good. He has recently discovered his feet and his favourite trick at the moment is to suck on his big toes! He loves rolling and I'm hoping that he'll be able to sit up on his own soon.

    It's good to hear that everyone's bubs are doing so well.

  9. #99
    tiggy Guest

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    Bec,

    Wow at your amazing little guy! Sorry to hear he gave you a fright but glad he is ok now and that you survived it.

    To answer your questions: No, it's not too personal at all. Being so close to Will's birthday too, I have been thinking alot about him and Noah. The biggest thing is knowing that if William were here, Noah and Ivy would not.
    It's a weird feeling.

    When they were first born, we all kept calling Noah - William.I cried alot because Noah looked so much like him and he was sick too. Over time though, he has just become my Noah, Will's little brother. I look at him some days and wonder what William would be like though.

  10. #100

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    Tiff All I can say is that you are a very strong woman

  11. #101

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    Tiff,

    Big hugs from me too. This is a big week coming up for you and you will definitely be in my thoughts. I'm sure you will find the perfect way to remember William's precious little life.

    I know where you are coming from with your last post. I know that Joshua would not be here either if Georgia was still with us. And you're right, it is a very weird feeling. I see it as a very special gift from his big sister. Like you, I do wonder what she would be like though. I see little girls that were born around the same time as her and imagine what she would be doing, what she would look like. It's hard.

    I hope William's birthday is a special time for you. I think I read somewhere on the forums that you are going away for the week? I hope you have a lovely, peaceful time and enjoy being with your family.

    Take care,

  12. #102

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    Hi Bec and Tiff - hope you are both doing well.

    Tiff, Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts were with you yesterday, and that I hope you're doing okay.

  13. #103
    tiggy Guest

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    Hi Girls,

    Sorry it's been a while, just picking myself up out of the muddy first weeks of April. It was a very sad time this year. Not many remembered my little guy and Belly Belly was down too when I really needed you all.

    My BF saga continues with little Ivy, who is now almost two kilos lighter than her brother. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.

    Did you know that my big boy is laughing? AND they have both found their hands!

    How are you all?
    Still no sign of a general premmie discussion forum

  14. #104

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    Hi ladies you are all such an inspiration.. O

    I had my bubba (Ronan) at 27+3wks (born 17.3.06), length 37.5cms weighed 1140 grams at birth and he is still going strong.. He is now almost 32wks and weighs 1684 grams as of 3 days ago.. He has been on CPAP for 8 days now and is coping really well.. His only real setback is that he had/has a PDA and has had 2 doses of endomethasin (sp?) but that last does finished 2wks ago so im guessing the will do an echo soon to see if it has closed more.. A pattern is starting to emerge as he now only seems to desat when the nurses touch him, rather than being constantly up and down!

    I have to say whilst it is hard to bond with your bubba whilst in NICU i haven't found it disheartening.. I know he knows my voice because when i open his crib and speak to him he twitches and stretches and his oxygen level goes right up to 95/98 which is where he should be at all the time..

    We have been able to hold him 3 times now and it's so special although it is hard to feel comfortable when you have cords running down your legs.. Our method is that we are lucky to be able to see and hold him so we don't push the nurses too much.. If he has had a good day they ask if we want a hold otherwise we just pop in to see him.. There is plenty of time to bond and i am patient..

    It has been awesome reading all of your stories and you are such fantastic mothers.. Thankyou for letting me read into your prem experiences..

    If anyone is interested Ronan's website is in my (www) which is updated daily..

  15. #105

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    Hi Rac, Congratulations on the birth of your little Ronan. What a stressful and exciting time for you. So many mixed emotions in such a short space of time. Isn't it amazing to hold your baby for the first time - esp when they are so small! It's lovely that he knows your voice. Must be very encouraging to see his oxygen sat levels rising in response! Keep us posted.

    Tiggy my thoughts have been with you lately. Just wondering whether you have come across "Austprem" - a website/forum for parents of premature babies? It is the best one addressing the ongoing issues re parenting premmies that I've found so far. Just google the name to find the URL. You need to register to be able to access the forum as they don't allow casual guests on it.

  16. #106

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    Hi there all you CPMs (courageous prem mums!),
    It's great to hear from you all.
    Tiff, I was thinking of you at the start of April and your little one.
    That's strange about the weight difference with Ivy-have you spoken to the pead about it? What does Ivy weigh atm? It's great when they start to laugh and interact lots with you. Kyla is great with her hands - reaching for toys, mummy and daddys faces and pushing us away when she's grumpy and doesn't want to sleep (mind you - 2 seconds later she'll be asleep). She doesn't like being on her tummy and rolls back onto her back, but hasn't rolled onto her tum, and isn't playing with her feet yet. She does love nudie play time though!

    Rac - I'm really happy to hear that Ronan is doing so well. He's so beautiful. And wow - he's had a great weight gain recently, i bet he'll be a big fatty in no time!
    I've got some prem photos of kyla on my site - so you can see that although kyla started out very little, she's catching up well.
    How are you going with all the to and froing from the hospital? I found that very tiring being at the hospital all the time.

    Hi Kirsty - how are you and bubs going?

  17. #107
    tiggy Guest

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    Hi girls,

    Kirsty, yep, I joined Austprem but haven't had the courage to post there. There alot of ex24 - 25 weekers there and my ex 30 weekers don't seem so premmie when I read their stories.
    There has been alot of posting about a premmieplus magazine, which I am interested in but everytime I go to the site, it is down.
    How is your little guy going anyway? I remember when you first posted about his birth and I was so amazed.

    Racca, so good to hear that your little man is doing well. Good to hear of his great weight gain.

    Carrie, Ivy is just under 5kgs and Noah is over 6.5kgs! I think he is just a boofer boy. He's not overweight, infact runs along the 5th centile for his birth age and along the average for his corrected age, it's just that Ivy seems so little compared to him and she doesn't settle well during the day, she just takes little 20 minute catnaps. That's why I'm wondering whether the BF is not giving her enough...silly I know because she has plenty of wet nappies and she IS growing and I have all the midwifery education under my belt but I find myself second guessing myself all the time with her. It's weird, all my confidence has gone out the window.
    I haven't spoken to the paed yet, I will though. We are still behind in our 4 month needles because they have both had a cold and now it's school holidays and the thought of dragging seven kids into the doctors rooms is very daunting!

  18. #108

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    Tiff- perhaps she's not putting on as much as Noah because she's using more energy staying awake! It's hard to know what comes 1st, the chicken or the egg. I know that after I went to the mother baby unit and Kyla was sleeping well her feeding also improved. Don't loose confidence though (I know it's easier said that done!) you are doing a great job! Kyla didn't hit 5kg til 5.5months. Maybe it's just that Noah's a guzzler!!LOL
    Gee, I feel for you, I don't think I could bring myself to go for injections with 7 kids in tow either :shock:

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