Sally - thanks for the words of support. It is hard to explain to others, and lots of my friends are not parents as well so they understand even less.

Thanks TK and Heavenly Mumma. Little K was quite a size for her gestation.

My feelings (the anxiety and envy) about pregnant friends are made worse as a close and pregnant friend has asked for a c-section for no medical reason (she does not want to go through labour) and it upsets me. I suppose there are psychological reasons as well though. I never got a chance at going in to labour and I do not understand her decision. Less than an hour before her birth, I woke up and discovered that I was lying in lots blood, had not felt a thing, not what I had imagined at all. Dd's heart beat was very low when they got the machine on to it. Then a chunk of my placenta came out. Talk about panic. Once of the midwives was half lying on my body to stop me shaking so much. I did not know if little K would be alive after the emergency c-section.

Goodness, I started out good this week but ended up not so good.

Sorry everyone. Will go and have a bath with DD and cheer up. DH gets home at 7.30 and that will help. Gues it does not help that she is teething - BUt still no teeth!!! Anyway i will be fine.

Thanks all.