My little baby is growing up I know that is how it works, but *sob* This is going to be a bit self-indulgend, but I need it, so bear with me ...

She turns one on Friday. I just had her at the pead for her yearly visit and he was so very impressed. He told me she is a very healthy little girl and that I should be proud - I am, very, very proud.

She had cut one tooth late last year - eventually - without to much hassle.

She started walking about two weeks ago and are doing better everyday.

Her personality are starting to develop and she has a mind of her own (just like her dad).

She is friendly and smile at everyone and get scared when the dog barks or I put on the vacuum and want to know what is going on in the washing mashine.

She knows when I start running a bath and are eager to get into the bathroom.

She has masterd the art of getting down one step.

She goes to sleep without much hassle and can play quiet in her cot if she is not tired, but it's past bedtime.

She can blow kisses - I think she was taught that at day-care, because it surprised the hell out of us - and she can point to what she wants and clap her hands and dance to winnie the pooh music. She notice new posters on the walls and smile when she can touch them.

She moved out of our room this weekend. Me and DH are alone in our room now, and she is sleeping down the hall in her own room.

Here is the thing - I miss her. She used to fall asleep on my chest, she used to only sleep in my arms, she used to not be able to hold her own bottle, she was so very small and fragile and helpless. I know one must not live in the past and that I must enjoy her for what she is doing now, but that does not mean that I don't want to keep her small and depened on me, kwim? I used to moan about how she would only sleep in my arms, how I would get nothing done - I would just love for her to do that again and sit and do nothing for a week

I am sure what I am going through is normal and that it's only going to get worse (she must go to school one day and one day she must leave home also) Does not make it easier. I can't really talk to DH, he thinks I am being a sissy. I love to see her growing up, but is there not a place where you can sign a petition to make a year a bit longer, or to slow down time a bit????

I sit here crying not because I am sad, but because I am soo proud and just sooo in total awe of this little being that God gave me. I never thought of myself as a mommy, but after bringing this wonder into the world I will never think of myself as anything else. I also did not realise the emotions that comes with being a mom. I don't think anyone can prepear you and you surly don't listen to other moms when they tell you that time goes by so quickly.

I am off to pick her up from day-care and then we are going to make dinner and take a bath. I think I might just let her go to sleep in my arms tonight - if she would let me