I second the laptop when expressing, I used to fall asleep infront of the tv and then spill milk
Beema, you made me giggle about spilling milk! I do have moments even during the day where if I close my eyes when I'm pumping I'm sure I am close to nodding off!

Thank you all for the encouragement. This week has been very busy but we're going ok so far. DS has been happy with his Nanna's so I've been able to get to the hospital when I need to and try and keep the home fires burning a bit too.

Heidi is going well. She went up to 925g and will be weighed again tonight so here's hoping for another gain. Its been a rollercoaster though. One day I'm in a good frame of mind and the next will be a day where the slightest thing will start to eat away at me. I think I'm going to end up going slightly nutty, but oh well, who cares LOL.

The doctors are watching DDs lungs quite closely at the moment. She is starting to develop a small degree of what they refer to as chronic lung disease. Sounds a lot worse than it actually is for her (which is one of the things I'm trying to be rational about). Its essentially a diagnostic line in the sand for them - if by day 28 a prem is still needing some degree of oxygen then they classify them as having chronic lung disease. Heidi will be 28 days tomorrow and over the last week she has needed small increases in her oxygen levels, but thankfully not too much. Its kind of expected for a baby born at such an early gestation, but it sounds so awful. Those three words have really thrown me this week. Despite talking it all through with the staff, I still have my worrywart pants on and my anxiety levels are increasing. Most babies grow out of it over the coming months as the lungs continue to develop until kids are 5 or 6 apparently. So as the lungs grow new healthy tissue, it takes the pressure off the tissue that has been damaged as a result of her prematurity and the ventilation etc. So here hoping she doesn't deteriorate any further.

Just to add to the stress, the poor little boy who has been in the cot next to her is VERY sick. He's been hit by some major infections & going by the looks on the nurses faces, I don't actually know if his prognosis is positive at all. They told me today that they'll proactively test the babies that have been in NICU near him (including DD) to watch for any early signs of the same infection. So again, fingers crossed she manages to avoid that. The staff do their best in terms of hand washing and de-bugging but when they share the care of all the babies, there is still a risk of something being transmitted. I actually feel really sad about this little boy - his parents have had him removed from their care and he has no one, and now he's so sick. Breaks my heart.

Earlier in the week I was ready to throw all the monitors out the window - everything goes beep A LOT and all I wanted was a quiet, uninterrupted cuddle with my baby girl - and I was really annoyed and frustrated that its going to be a long time coming. I just try and zone out as much as possible. Today we had a good morning - I washed her and helped change over all here tubes and leads which they replace every 7 days. Did all her nappies and changed her sheets & nest. The more I get in and do for her, the better it makes me feel. Makes me feel more like her mum.

I've also posted her birth story too if you want to head over and have a read. It was nice to write it all down while it was still fresh.

xx