Friends of ours had a 24 weeker. They asked for no gifts until post-hossy, so I sent a carefully chosen card and waited on the pressy. Maybe you could ask if they would like gifts?

You could also ask about visiting. I know our friends weren't keen on visitors in the hossy - you can't go into the NICU anyway, and that's where they want to be, with bub. But we did organise lunch at a cafe near the hossy a couple of times, to give some time out.

We (and several other friends) took them frozen meals which they very much appreciated. The last thing they wanted to do after being in the hossy all day was cook. We stuck to the basics like pasta, risotto, casseroles etc.

I'm not sure what else to suggest. It is such a difficult time, more so than those of us who haven't been through it could ever imagine. I would say the best thing you can do it to respect their feelings. Don't be offended if they don't want to see you while pg, or don't ring with regular updates. Let them deal with it in their own time and don't take things personally. It is very much a time for them to be selfish and do what they need to do to get by.

I hope the twins do really well.