Hi Jaspen.

its a hard call, if you didn see them it "could" be upsetting seeing your pregnant belly but then again you cannot hide the fact that you are pregnant and you definaltely would not be rubbing it in their face.
Frozen meals i think are a godsend. there is no way anyone feels like cooking when going back and forth to hosp each day, esp if one or both bubs havent had a very good day.
I think a gift or even a card is still important. a lot of people tend to hold off celebrating a prem but to me that is upsetting?? They still have just had their babies and it still deserves recognition, so maybe a card now and pressie later, or maybe if u havent already got a pressie something that might be practical for them to use sooner, like prem clothing (knowing they wouldnt be clothes yet but when they do they will likely to be too sml for newborn clothing.)
hand cream for mum? something for her and going into nicu numerous times a day can wear on your hands, theamount of time u are sterillizing your hands they can become very dry and rough.
Being that your pregnant and have children you are obviously limited in your availability but i think when i went through it had someone had of just come and done something, or like u suggested made something it would have been greatly appreciated. Lots of people "offered" to help but i never felt i could ever take up any of the offers iykwim?

Its great you are putting thought into it and i hope both babies have a smooth journey through hospital