May be a stupid question but why no fabric softener? I used it aon all DD's clothes and blankets etc. before she was born. Don't use it now - just use what we do but I had never heard about fabric softener?
It's not just the fire danger but also that it can irritate the skin and has been linked with causing cancer. Having said that, I do use fabric softener. I never used it DD's clothes in the first few months. I just love the smell of it but got tired of washing DD's clothes seperately.
Actually the chemicals used to make children's clothes and bedding fire retardant have been linked to cancer themselves... I don't quite understand why they need to be fire retardant in the first place. it's not like I'm gonna light a candle, smoke a cigarette, etc. near my baby. And if the house is on fire, I don't think fire retardant clothing will really make much difference... I either manage to get DD out of the house or I don't... Just my opinion...

To answer your question. I used my regular laudry detergent (Omo Matic or Trimat Matic (Aldi)) for DD's clothes. I just figured I would do that and if she started having problems with it (rashes...) then I could change to Omo Matic Sensitive or add an extra rinse cycle or both. But she never had any. And I definitely wouldn't have used anything that required hand washing. Wayyyy too much work.

Sasa