16dpo and another BFN

Cycle day 40 now. Initially we had decided not to "try" this month and I felt like I had gained some control back and would be fine to see AF arrive - I was really happy with this decision. My cycles have been a bit erratic 34, 35, 29 - but never anything like this. How cruel that the cycle I am expecting AF to show she takes her time and gives me hope again only to get BFN's.

Perhaps this is a life lesson for me that I cannot control these things????

Anyway, as I have previously mentioned I am off to FS on Monday so i know I'll get some answers about what's going on this next cycle - should it ever start. I just hate thinking there's something wrong with my body.

Part of me just wants to throw the towel in and say "hey I've got one beautiful boy, who lights up my world....surely that's enough" and forget the constant thoughts of TTC but then I just can't seem to give up the dream of having more.