aww i'm so so sorry i know this won't help much for now but i have been through this myself and yes you are so right it's emotionally utterly exhausting ... my only itty bitty advice is if you now not cling to the hope that the blood test is wrong you as you are only going to beat yourself up over it even more. Just let it be as it is, i know it's not easy to accept as your heart and mind don't want to let go of that feeling as it feels so close ... Allow yourself to feel crap, you have every right to, and you need to give yourself time as it's truly so hard to wait all the time with such deep high hopes and be given such an answer from the Doc.

Big hugs to you and take super care ... and don't forget no one said the door is no longer open cause it is open, that sweet bubba will come to you xoxox