The fallout

[Shar]

Sending a as I have no words that can help your pain.

Thinking of you and your kids.

[Jennifer13]

Hi Michelle. If things have quietened down and you have Thurs or Fri free this week, let me know. I would love to meet up with you and give you a hug in person, somehow that would seem more worthwhile than a cyber-hug. I know it isn't the hug you want, but I'd like to do what I can. I wish this wasn't part of your life right now.

[Miss.B]

Michelle, my heart is truly breaking for you. I think of my own partner and I just can't imagine my life without him in it, I would be just so lost. Just know that even though I don't know you, I share your pain and want to offer you my hugs and support. You are doing such a great job being there for your babies, your love is all they have now and plenty of that they will always have. Hug them tight and continue to talk about their beautiful daddy, they will never forget him or stop loving him. Huge hugs hun, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Beata.

[Inanna]

33w pregnant. DS turning 3 next week but continuing to cry out for Daddy DD calling for Daddy this morning It all hurts so much and I just want it to not feel so raw. I want to enjoy this pregnancy now it will be my last and yet it is so hard to see the good when the bad is so overwhelming.

More firsts. More things he should be here for but isn't. The slow obliteration from our life that used to be. Piece by piece we are being taken apart and re-built again without him. Please just make it better for a minute. Just one.

If I could make it all better for just for one minute I would do it in a skip.
I understand in a different way how hard those firsts are - I can only imagine how they are for you. I feel your pain so acutely & it pains me so much to know you are in this place. There is such pain in letting go and "unpacking" the life that was & such pain at the reality that this new life is what is.

Omar is your hope & your reminder that Greg continues to beat inside you - in a different way. I can imagine that must be both hopeful & tortuous at the same time.
Oscars birthday is going to be so very very tough. For him, for you. It sucks. I wish it were all different for you. Remember the joy that you felt on that day - his birthing day. The love you felt for Greg, for Oscar - the pain you felt at Caitlyn's memory. Swim in it darling & know we're here with the life rings.

Greg was a very very wise man in choosing as his partner in this life you. Because you are amazing, resilient, wise and beautiful. Slowly as your life is rebuilt differently the essence that is Greg will go with you. It will darling heart. So with the grief and sadness at the rebuilding - know that the essence of Greg goes with you, with the kids.

Take up Jennifer on her offer. She does good hugs & I will instruct her with a firm one from me. You are loved, supported & not alone.

[Epacris]

Sending you all my love, warmth and strength and always thinking of you and your family.

[Arimeh]

I read this thread Michelle and I never know what to say - everything I say just seems.. meaningless.

I think of you daily, and so wish I could take your pain away from you. I do know you are handling things with a great deal of grace that I would never be able to, if our roles were reversed.

I wish I could give you a hug in person

[kellym]

Oh Michelle... I wish I could give you a massive hug IRL. I have shed many tears for you and your family (including more right now).. Luke is only about a month older than your DS and being pg again now... it's just so hard for me to comprehend what you're going through and how you're managing to get through each day. You are inspirational and strong and simply amazing. I know you don't feel like that most of the time, but you are and I'm so proud of the way you're dealing with it all and I'm so glad that you have this forum as a way to release. It's not going to be easy, but you're doing so well and we're all here for you... as much as we can be anyway.

Massive hugs... I wish there was more I could say... but just know I am thinking of you every single day.

Kel xxx

[mbear]

I was thinking about you on Fri night....you and your DH.....and your little family...i was at ED - your place of work i think. I was looking out for you....even though i suspect your prob not working now, and TBH, i dont think i really would know what you completely look like...but i was still looking, hoping.....like others have said , your not alone...your really not....hugs darling....

[Spring Angel]

No wise words from me tonight. I just wanted to tell you I love you and the kids.

[mrsmac]

Like the others I have no words for you just huge hugs and cyber strength being sent to you.

[Michelle71]

Thank you - everyone It is reassuring to have that love and support in the ether of the Universe. Right now, I need every bit that is sent to me. To help me get up in the morning and sustain me through the long, and often difficult, days.

Mbear - I have had to finish work because the babies are not coping without me nearby. More than a few hours and I have cling-ons (which is understandable) so I am on maternity leave now and will return next year. Even saying that feels like forever I was there on Friday for a little while though.

I am just getting through each day. 9 weeks down the track, I know I can do this on my own. Some days are hard and other days are horrendous, but I can do this. I just don't want to. There is a difference. I *phoned a friend* tonight to give me the support I needed to cope with DS who was having a moment and sobbing for Daddy because he was tired and missing his Daddy. It breaks my heart to have him hurting like this DD was calling for Daddy today too so there is something in the air. I know he is surrounding us, it just isn't the same. Thankfully I have support who will come and rescue me and give me a few minutes of space to get it all back together again so we can stand and move forward again.

Please know, the support from this community helps me more than I can ever put into words. And it gives me the chance to put into words a pain I never wanted and never wanted to experience. It is my therapy.

[MantaRay]

Michelle, I too am sending you big hugs As hard as it is for all of you, you are doing a fantastic job of getting your little ones through this. Your strength is amazing.

I wish less pain for you. I'm not sure how, but I hope it is possible.

[Jennifer13]

Michelle. I'm glad you've got a bit more time to spend with DS and DD over the next couple of months. It sounds like they need it (and probably you do too).

[~StarBright~]

Dearest Michelle...


I wish i could take the pain away for more than just one minute xoxoxox I can not fathom how hard it owuld be to be strong for your babies when you are feeling the pain you are, but just the fact that you are getting up everyday and being there for them shows just how strong you are- and being able to ask for help shows you are even stronger xoxoxox

When i read how you felt it instantly reminded me of a Missy Higgins song- the Sound of White and a lyric in the song.......

If things get real for me down here, promise to take me to
before you went away, if only for a day.
If things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to
the tune we played before you went away.

I wish he could xoxoxo

You are in my thoughts always xoxox

[Nai]

Sending you hugs and strength. I wish there was more I could do I'm glad you get to spend some more time with your babies, it must be so hard for all of you right now. Please let us know if there is anything at all that we can possibly do to help xx

[Cassius2]

sending you my biggest, warmest hugs

I think we know just how easily this could be any one of us and there is no way that any of us would want you to do this all alone. tough doesnt even begin to describe it xx

no doubt the maternity leave also means alot more time to think, and that must be challenging. sending you loads of for that gorgeous baby in your belly who will soon be earthside to share in your journey together xx

thinking of you always,
Clare

[Willow]

My beautiful friend, you are in my thoughts every day, you and the children.

The very cruelest part of this is that no one can take that pain away from you, and that's all any of us really want to do

But we are here, always

[littlelara]

I think if you all the time, Michelle.
I wish I could make a difference in some real way.
Big, warm hugs to you and your family xox