Stay safe Spring. I'm praying that you miss it all. I'm feeling giddy with anxiety.

Oooh & Willow, didn't you just tell Janie off for using a real name? bahahaha. I have to say, I didn't want to admit it, but I feel the same about having a third one. I love the 'idea' of another baby, especially as my 2 are now so independant, but it's the chuck on your shoulder, the bags under your eyes, the cold dinners every night, the teething, the pacing the house at 3 in the morning getting a windy baby to burp, it's the establishing breastfeeding, the saggy stomach, the no time to yourself, do I need to go on? lol. I think of ALL of that & I hope that doesn't make me sound so incredibly selfish, but to be brutally honest, I don't think I have enough patience left for another baby. Plus, how could I raise a child all on my own in a foreign country? What if Alan did what he did to me again? Then I'm left alone with THREE kids. We wouldn't be able to afford to have 3 kids & live how we are now either.

Spring, Spring, Spring, I will be thinking and praying for you all day. Keep your boys in your sight at every moment. Don't go outside.