Parenting After Loss or Miscarriage November 2010

[butterfly_warrior]

Willow, when he saw the paed at 18 months I was told his speech was delayed. I was also supposed to take him for a hearing assessment, but told to do that when he was well... by the time he was well, the referral had expired. His understanding is fine, but he just doesn't really talk back. We're still at the point of single words - he doesn't really string words together. I know of other kids his age where you can actually have a conversation with them, but not Sam. I can't even really get him to try to say words with me - he'll copy once, but if he doesn't get it right, it's like he refuses to have another go. Then there are the days where we get a lot of pointing and babbling and I start to think it's not a matter of him not talking, it's more that we just can't understand him yet!

I'm supposed to take him back to the paed now, but I need a new referral from the GP, and I'm just avoiding making the appointment.

BW

[Michelle71]

BW - the MCHN can refer you for a hearing screen and they often do them at the community health centre. O was booked for one there when we had a speech clarity issue in September / October. The community health centre also has speech as well is you want to get it checked. Don't let the dummy stress you. Just remove it through the day and give it back when he is tired / ready for a nap. It is really only a day or two of unhappiness until they move on. O was not a happy man yesterday, wanted the dummy when Mummy jammed his hand in the car door (bad day here) but didn't fuss too much and actually had a sleep today without it. He got it back tonight as he went up to bed.

Willow - I don't think anything of the sort. Little people ARE hard work and you do need a break and some me time. My bundle of beans 3yo is doing my head in. "Are you listening" "No, Mummy. I don't like to listen" BUT - they go to bed on their own now, at a decent hour, without too many issues most of the time. I am very proud of them and I think O and L going to bed together has been the key to success. Now if we can get G to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time we will be doing well. Although I can't complain. He has started doing a solid couple of hours in the afternoon (anywhere from 1-2.5hrs) so if the others overlap I can sneak a nanna nap if I need one. Or just enjoy the quiet to re-charge for the evening chaos.

Freya - please explain your ticker ..................... before I stalk you via SMS

Jayne - I was cleaning the kitchen when you skyped But I was watching the tennis. Is it too early to start counting down the days - NOPE!!!!! Count away chicky.

Spring - come and join Lee and I on the c25k (you too Willow). Just be sensible and get a pair of RUNNING shoes before you start. Unlike me who is currently banned from running until my knee stops hurting. And I am annoyed!!!! It is actually really good and (relatively) easy. It hurts. You work hard. But it is only 30 minutes and you only run for 1 minute at a time (in week 1). The endorphins are great!!!! I lost 1.1kg in the first week but I have refused to weigh myself since I stopped the program in case it discourages me and I chuck it all in.

Bun - so pleased you have finally got somewhere to live

Well, it is after pumpkin o'clock and all is well. Three little people are sleeping and I am off to bed to join them. Until G wakes up. Little bed hog that he is!! Getting released from his safe sleeper prison means he can chase me across the bed to make sure boobie is not too far away. I spend half the night moving him back towards O on Greg's side. Small complaints because it really is quite sweet.

I have been having a rough few days but my little ones are perceptive little beans and I have received random hugs, kisses and I love you Mumma from both of the big ones. And the bubba - his smile melts my heart and lights my world My final gift is such a blessing and such a beautiful little boy with a very cheeky streak. I like that.

[Freya]

What ticker Michelle? My 365 photo project? Its not pregnancy related if thats what your asking. If your referring to the names of the moment; nothing to see there either.............yet............maybe someday

[Spring Angel]

I actually started the c25k program and can almost run 5k before I started (it almost kills me though). The issue is it so bloody hot here I cam only do it after dark and then have to have a friend to do it with me. Excuses I know. I think I need a treadmill.

[Willow]

Michelle - Sorry, that was badly worded! What I should have said was I am aware that there are others out there like your amazing self, who are doing it a lot tougher than I am. WOOOOOOOT!! on the sleep success! Sounds like things are going really well atm, I'm so happy for you!

Spring - Not excuses, just reality. You wouldn't find me running in Townsville during the day either! Treadmill might be the way to go. I'd love one too and definitely have the room for one now, but not the cash unfortunately.

BW/Michelle - Thanks for the info re speech/hearing. First thing I need to do is try and find a GP here. I am DREADING it. I will take both boys for a check up and get a referral to the paed I am hoping to see (Mako recommended him ) and go from there. I will also try and suss out the community nurse situation. I never went in Sydney with either of the boys because we had a great GP and paed and between the two we were pretty covered. But I think being here and the medical system being what it is, it might come in handy. Although I'm sure they too will be pretty busy. I am assuming there will be one at DDs school and I think I remember seeing the office when we did our visit. I am pretty sure they will confirm his speech is delayed, so I guess it's just a matter of having his hearing checked to rule that out and seeing if there's anything we can do to help him along. I'm hoping a speechie won't be needed because the waiting lists in Sydney were horrendous, I don't even want to think about what they'd be like up here.

Jayne - Ooh, black/purple sounds awesome! This is actually the darkest I've had my hair I think but I only get demi colours that slowly wash and fade out rather than permanent colour, so I'm assumign a lot of it will wash out today when I wash it (yeah, still in my jammies!)

I'd better get going. DH has taken L fishing in the boat for the first time this morning and Mama is nervous! I know DH will be super careful with him in the boat and he obviously has a life vest etc but still. I worry, can't help it. I didn't let DD go in the boat till she was 4, so this is a stretch for me. But he cries every time DH goes that he wants to go with Daddy and being where we are now, I don't think it's fair that he misses out every weekend (yes, my DH goes fishing every weekend *sigh*).

[Spring Angel]

I'd be nervous too Willow but I'm sure that your DH will be super dooper careful. I bet they have a great time. You're right about it being bloody hot here. I did the mowing yesterday and my entire bra was a different colour because I was drenched in sweat. Doesn't help that I did it at 3pm. I flipped DH for it because being out in the sun mowing was so much better than being cooped up in here with a vomiting toddler and stir crazy baby.

Michelle

Well after my near break down over B's sleep you wouldn't believe it, on Friday night he did the best he ever has 6.30pm - 4.44am. I was sure it was either a fluke or that he was brewing the same evil bug O has. Well low and behold last night ... wait for it.... 6.30pm - 5.30am I can hardly believe it. This is my child who still was feeding 3 hourly (sometimes even more often) overnight. I should have known to trust the magic 12 month mark. Now I hope I haven't jinxed myself.

oh and a Sydney update. I mentioned to Mum and Dad that I might want to go and they've offerred to take the boys for two nights. So hmmmm, that makes it so much easier. Hmmmm I might go and take a squizz at flights.

Spring

[Willow]

SPRING!!!! OMG I am soooooooo excited for you!! That is awesome, way to go B!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed that he keeps it up. Don't be too disheartened if he is a bit inconsistent at first, took D a few weeks to get to the point where he did it every night.

And now I'm getting really excited about July!!!

I was going to the other BB Sydney meet up but recent events have changed my mind I think... Haven't yet cancelled the room (only because I'd really, really love to meet Sushee so I'm still thinking about it) but most likely will not go and I'd much rather hang out with you guys!

[mako]

Jayne There is absolutely no need to apolagise hun..You didn't say anything wrong

Spring WOOHOO on Mr B sleeping so well for you for the past few nights..Goes to show you that your little guy can do it and just wants to do it in his own time
I hope Mr O is feeling better too. I saw your FB status about him being unwell and that doesn't sound like much fun at all

Bun..Congratulations on finding a house to move into..I bet you are sighing with relief now and can't wait to move in so you can start to get settled in. I'm hearing you on the lack of support and not getting a break at all too

Willow How did DS1 enjoy his fishing trip with daddy?

As for us..Sage is good, DH is feeling a bit better with each passing day and I'm ok..Still feeling BLAH but know that AF is on her way sometime in the next few days..neg poas confirmed what I "knew" but am ok about that for now..I have a funeral to attend tomorrow..and Bun..here's where I'm understanding not having any help around atm..My mum "can't" or "won't" look after Sage for me while I go to say goodbye to my friend as she doesn't WANT to GRRRR. Jas's mum is in Sydney for a few days so I have had to ask my next door neighbour to watch him for a couple of hours..I'm furious with my mum about it but once again shouldn't be surprised...She doesn't work or anything like that so its not like it would be too difficult to come and spend some time with her grandson..Anyway that's my rant over and done with.

Sorry for no more personals for now but I will come back in the next few days to catch up with you all

[Michelle71]

Mako - that sucks I am similarly annoyed with my sister who I asked if she wanted to come down to watch the monkeys while I go to a Nick Cave / Grindermen concert on Friday. I was going to fly her down. She said she would if I couldn't get anyone else. Of course that translates to I don't really want to because she is busy / the kids have swimming / probably some farm thing etc etc etc. Just say so. Don't fluff around. But goodness. I don't ask for much but even then it is like pulling teeth. My gorgeous BIL and SIL are watching them instead.

Dentist trip today - yay!!! No cavity. Just an overenthusiastic brusher so now I have to use a kiddies toothbrush and old lady toothpaste IL's were here to watch the little ones (bless them) and the whole family came over for dinner last night which was beautiful. I miss those dinners as a family unit. And the boys (Greg's brothers) cleaned the kitchen Greg style so the kitchen bench sparkles thanks to a good dose of windex I now have to find my kitchen (and the breastpump is somewhere .......) but it was lovely to have it all done for me. It is making me cry today because there is so much I miss and as my MIL said last night - it takes two of them to make one of him

BBL - all the little ones are sleeping / resting so I am going to join them for a power nap!!

[Willow]

Michelle - Your family dinner sounds so lovely, what a beautiful thing for the boys to do for you. Glad your dentist appt went well - take it easy on those pegs lady! rofl

Mako - You know I would have loved to have watched Sage tomorrow. But also get that it's a lot easier for you to drop him next door than to come all the way out here! I'm so sorry about your mum. I just don't know what to say about that anymore, it's just not right If it were me, I'd be very inclined to not let her have him at all. It's not fair on Sage though I guess, but neither is it fair that she will only help out and spend time with him when it suits her. Glad to hear DH is feeling better too. L loved his fishing trip in the boat and all came home safe and unharmed! LOL DH getting VERY frustrated by the fishing up here, he hasn't caught anything decent since we got here! Very unusual for him, he always comes home with fish and it's driving him nuts!

Took the kids to DDs new school this morning so we could get her uniforms at the P&C uniform shop (and Mako, despite this being the first day they are open to sell uniforms, they were sold out of her size skorts....grrrrr. Have I told you how much I hate skorts?? Will try and get them at Kotara on Thurs). Met her year group supervisor thingo (forget what they called her) who seemed very nice and helpful. She's from Sydney too originally and has a friend that teaches at DDs old school. Getting very nervous about her starting her new school next week and DS1 starting preschool. Was talking to this same lady about the preschool situation who told me to keep him on the waiting list at the local preschool because it is a great little preschool and a lot cheaper (so he could do two days), not to mention its 5 mins walk away. So will look at changing him over if the opportunity arises, I had previously thought I wouldn't but it would just work out better in so many ways and I think he would adapt quickly with a change (I hope!). I wouldn't expect it to happen anytime soon anyway because he was at the end of the waiting list. I think I saw on the sign out the front the other day that they start there from 2 so might put D on the waiting list around his bday this year (wouldn't want him to start till he was closer to 3 though).

Better go, have friends from Sydney visiting some time in the next few days (they are also moving up here as soon as they land work) so I need to tidy this place up a bit after a busy weekend.

[~Jayne~]

WILLOW _ Your post about your DH & fishing would be music to Alan's ears. That man is built with gills behind his ears. He loves anythign to do with the water - particularly fishing & diving. Shame we live poles apart! I could picture a very happy fishing buddy program happening!!! The school for Miss V sounds great & also the new opportunity for the preschool for Mr L. No hassle keeping him on both wait-lists & seeing what comes up first. Is Miss V excited to go to a new school? The new girls in school is ALWAYS the coolest with the most amount of friends!!! Jess still has 'new school' syndrome as she is newest in her class. Claudia has lost that shine already as she has a new boy in her class. lol

MAKO _ I'm so glad I didn't offend! I was horribly worried I had upset you. So glad!!! Lets hope that AF ISN"T on her way & that the POAS was just taken too early!!!

BW _ What's the latest on the DH situation? Any improvements being made?

MICHELLE _ Your family dinner sounds awesome, I'm so glad you don't have to have dental work either. & I'm sorry, but I'm PMSL laughing at the thought of the brothers cleaning your kitchen & both of them passing the breast pump between each other trying to figure out what 'appliance' it is. I'm sure they knew, but still, would have liked to be a fly on the wall!!!! & I'm SUPER PROUD that the two big people are putting themselves to bed!!! What a fantastic achievement!

I'm so sorry, I have to run, I didn't realise how late it was. I need to get dinner on the go. I really fancy brocolli cheese tonight, so I best get that happening.

But one last thing.............. I'm now a student!!!!!!!! I start classes on 14 Feb & I'm learning Chinese!!! I'm very excited, but awfully scared all at the same time. Chinese is so hard & the text book they gave me is in Chinese - WTF!!! Stupidly, I thought it was going to be in English. bahahaha

Love Jayne xx

[butterfly_warrior]

Slow and steady improvement on the DH situation. I had a chat to the pastor about it all, and we have put some plans in place. The call has been put out in church to get others to help... not exactly overwhelmed with people offering assistance, but rumour has it that there's two people recently moved across from another church who did sound there - I'm just hoping and praying that they can be convinced to do it here as well. For the last few weeks the evening service hasn't been moving to the other room, so I've been able to go in the evenings and let Sam run around a bit and that's been great. The creche roster still isn't up and running for the year yet (when school goes back, so either this weekend or next), but some lovely friends booted me out on Sunday morning and took care of Sam. DH himself is chasing up these guys he's heard of that know how to run a sound desk and appears to have finally fixed the item of equipment that is needed to get clear sound into the creche during the service. So it's all coming together.

And my poor little man is in so much pain from teething that even sucking on his dummy hurts him. Not easy to get him to calm down ready for sleep when he's always used the dummy for it before... but could be a good opportunity to try to get him to sleep without it. Amazing how things work out some times.

BW

[kellym]

Wow... you've all been very chatty in here!!! I'm having trouble keeping up, so will make this a quick one!!

We're back from Perth and feeling a little sad. It was such a great visit... we were extremely social but man, it was exhausting!! We were out most nights and busy during the days. I need a holiday just to recover - LOL! It was just so wonderful to see everyone though and introduce them to our new little man. Both boys were amazing on the plane too.. I'm so proud of them! Yesterday was not a good day though.. to be expected I guess.. we didn't get home until 11pm, so we were all tired yesterday and I had no patience for Luke.. he was being so naughty. Anyway, hopefully today will be better. I'm pretty happy with Campbell though, he slept last night from 8.30pm to 4.30am... amazing!! I'm praying it continues. Luke was up at 5am though but it was nice to finally get some cuddles in bed with him.. he doesn't come into my bed much anymore! I just need to learn to go to bed a bit earlier and get some good sleep!!

Well.. better be off.. have sooooo much washing and cleaning up to do. My SIL arrives today too with her little boy (who's the same age as Luke).. so I'm sure the next three days while they're here will be crazy!

Bun - OMG.. I can't believe you've got a place just up the road from us. Our place is on the corner of Preston Point Rd and Moreing Rd... the one with the big red brick wall around it (and entry via Moreing Rd). Our tenants are moving out at the end of Feb.. so we've just appointed an agent to start looking for someone.. scary!

Kel xxx

[Freya]

Wow... you've all been very chatty in here!!! I'm having trouble keeping up, so will make this a quick one!!

We're back from Perth and feeling a little sad. It was such a great visit... we were extremely social but man, it was exhausting!! We were out most nights and busy during the days. I need a holiday just to recover - LOL! It was just so wonderful to see everyone though and introduce them to our new little man. Both boys were amazing on the plane too.. I'm so proud of them! Yesterday was not a good day though.. to be expected I guess.. we didn't get home until 11pm, so we were all tired yesterday and I had no patience for Luke.. he was being so naughty. Anyway, hopefully today will be better. I'm pretty happy with Campbell though, he slept last night from 8.30pm to 4.30am... amazing!! I'm praying it continues. Luke was up at 5am though but it was nice to finally get some cuddles in bed with him.. he doesn't come into my bed much anymore! I just need to learn to go to bed a bit earlier and get some good sleep!!

Well.. better be off.. have sooooo much washing and cleaning up to do. My SIL arrives today too with her little boy (who's the same age as Luke).. so I'm sure the next three days while they're here will be crazy!

Bun - OMG.. I can't believe you've got a place just up the road from us. Our place is on the corner of Preston Point Rd and Moreing Rd... the one with the big red brick wall around it (and entry via Moreing Rd). Our tenants are moving out at the end of Feb.. so we've just appointed an agent to start looking for someone.. scary!

Kel xxx

My grandmother-in-law lives on Preston Point Road lol

[~Jayne~]

& my Primary School was just near Preston Point Road - or ran into it.

[Michelle71]

OK girls - that is just freaky, less than 6 degrees of separation Although Freya also has a friend on FB that is also on mine but in my case she is a friend from school and married to one of the guys from my actual year

I think I am insane (ok - I am, this has just confirmed it!!!) I am going to do the Masters I need to do now for authorisation this year. I am completely nuts but it needs to be done and they aren't going to get any less complicated over the years. I just want it over and done with. Should have been finished last April but we all know what happened then. Now the goalposts have moved and I need to suck it up and get it done. Complete madness!!

[Freya]

You are so very brave Michelle, but you can do it!!!

Who is the friend we share?

[mako]

Wow girls that is freaky..All of you knowing people and/or living in the same street :0

Michelle Well yep you're crazy but you already know that lol so I'm going to back you all the way and tell you how awesome you are for even contemplating study but I know you can and will do this and will do so so well
I love the new pic of Lily on FB today...she's a classic

I have a quick question for those of you who have toddlers/kids who have TT at night time..Sage is fully trained during the day and only wears a nappy for his day sleep and at night when he goes to bed..Well tonight he told me he didn't want to wear a nappy to bed and he wanted to get up during the night to do a wee..So I managed to pop a nappy on him and put him to bed but within minutes he called out to me to tell me he needed to do a wee.So I get him up and take him to the toilet and put his nappy back on and put him back in his cot(yeah still not in a big boy bed here but thats another story lol) for him to call out again to tell me he needs to wee again..I didn't get him up for that one cos I know he'd just wee'd not longer than 3 minutes beforehand.
So I guess my question to you all is when did you TT at nights and how did you go about it? Do your little ones have many accidents during the night? We have a long history of bed wetting in the family so it really doesn't bother me in the slightest if that does happen(and I kinda expect it too) but I'm more than happy for Sage to wear a nappy to bed for as long as he needs and am in no rush to push the issue but he decided one day that he no longer wanted to wear a nappy during the day and he hasn't had one on since that day except for a really long car trip where he might fall asleep.

Sorry that wasn't really quick after all as it lol.