Reet-I have set there routines to fit my life and work ect and it worked easy with the boys ella has taken a little longer with the reflux causing some problems but it is perseverence and a little tough love i am a believer in controlled crying IN THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES when they show all the signs of tiredness and they are just about to drop off i put them to bed tuck them in and say nigh nigh time (my bed time words) then i walk out if they grizzle i wait a bit go in pop the dummy in and walk back out and if they get to crying i will go in roll them onto their other side tuck them back in pop the dummy in and walk out this can take some time for bubs to get but i NEVER pick them up when i know they are fed,clean nappy and i know they are tired i will settle them while they are in their bed i just find if you pick them up then they learn that crying will get mum/dad to come get them out of bed (thats my opinion) so they get their way.
Anyway the only time i give in and pick them up is if they are not well or clearly in pain with wind so then i just pick them up settle them while still in the dark room and put them back to bed.
During the night when they wake for bottle/dummy i never stimulate them by talking or turning lights on i have the bathroom light on across the hall which gives me just enough light to see what i am doing i feed/change bub and straight back to bed where they self settle.
And it works for me as i said you have to persevere and know their cries from tired grizzly to real upset and pain that way you know when not to give in and when they really need mums comfort and as we all know crying does not hurt them and most times bubs cry because they are tired and want to sleep or are hungry.
Dont get me wrong there are times when ella is upset with belly pain and DH and i do the cuddle and back patting i just dont let her fall asleep in my arms unless sick she will cuddle into us and once we see the eye rubbing and droopy eyelids it's nigh nigh time.
Oh and i wont get her out of bed until 7am if she wakes before i turn her mobile on and she is happy to lie there and watch it for a while.
And this last 2 weeks she sleeps really well i put her to bed awake but very tired and she goes off to sleep and she has one bottle during the night and has been waking at 7am by herself so has fallen into the routine i have been aiming for it took a while longer then the boys but we got there.

Murrycod- how'd you go with all the catching up reading?