Bonham that is wonderful wonderful news honey! I am so relieved that this little one is doing the right things in there!
Michelle: I too am sorry my love.
Willow: Yay for better sleep!!!!! I hope it all stays good my love...
Kristy: Of course you are doing beautifully on your own - you are amazing! I hope things stay on track & you enjoy that wine. ..
Kelly: I hope the weekend is good for you...
Freya: I hope that all these bugs leave your house soon...
Lee: How are you going my love?
Janie: Look how far you are getting!!!! This is wonderful - I know how frustrating it is to have to rest all the time - and I know that you know it's what has to happen & that doesn't make it any easier. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers... Another 6 days & you've made it to 34 weeks. That is so fabulous... Let's hope & pray that this little one does the right things & stays put for another few weeks.
Me: Well it's been very very trying here. I haven't wanted to whinge and whine too much & now I'm feeling a bit better I can share a bit. The FOTY let my 14 yo DD go to a rave party in town, she had asked him, told him I didn't know & went with his blessing. I was phoned in the middle of the night by concerned parents who knew I didn't know she was there... Girls were taken away by ambulance, girls vomiting in the street... It was ordinary... Her father picked her & some other girls up at around midnight, leaving DS9 & DD5 alone on the farm... It just does my head in how they can get away with all of this behaviour. Of course she met a 19 yo boy there that she now wants to go out with him... So, you can imagine how difficult this is. To give her her due she came to me the next day to tell me that she had gone to the party & knew it was the wrong thing to do. I was proud of her honesty. Her father had told her not to tell me as "I would go mad"... You've gotta love the maturity of someone who is trying to win points with his 14year old daughter...
Anyway I have told her that I cannot really stop her going out with the boy but I disagree strongly, I am very very worried & would she come along and talk to a professional about it so she can see that there are good reasons why etc... She likes him because he's mature, reads a lot of books & is very shy... I know his Mother & he is a nice young man (Goodness I sound old...) BUT he is 5 years older than her... Anyway she has agreed to talk & has been very reasonable. Even though her father can't see anything wrong with it... I think she can see that I am really worried...
Of course there has been no further advance on the property settlement. He disputes Imogen's diagnosis & requested pathology results & a report from the Dr... Of course that was promptly forwarded to his Solicitor & I have heard nothing since. So, next Tuesday I am meeting with my Solicitor to sign the papers to commence Court proceedings. It's costly but I agree with my Solicitor that there is no other way to get him to answer. He has provided no disclosure of financial information, no acknowledgement of receipt of letters - my Solicitor emailed his Solicitor yesterday stating that we would begin action next Tuesday and to ask where he can be found to serve papers... So, if that doesn't get any action we go to Court in April.
He had his mediation session this week & they contacted me for an appointment to meet with the child liason person to discuss them. The FOTY has been telling the children that I am turning them against him - the past 2 times they have seen him they have come back saying he was crying and saying that he didn't want it to be this way & I am going to make them hate him... My kids love their Dad & even though he is a complete lunatic right now I know that he loves them. I know some people say you shouldn't say too much - but in our situation I really do need to. I can't tell my kids that we are divorcing because we couldn't work it out. We are getting divorced because he doesnt want to be married to me... I can't make up a story to make it right for him without lying to my children. I don't want them believing I wouldn't have done all I could. I can't let them think him having a relationship with someone who was once a very close friend. I can't let them think it's not outrageous for him to tell my children how gorgeous her boys are & how much he loves spending time with them...
So, I am imaging the poo will hit the fan... A couple of weekends ago my kids came home telling me that they had spent the whole day with Ms Sloppy Seconds & she was changing Immy's nappies and gooing over her... I just about lost the plot. It's just so wrong. I know I cannot do anything to stop them doing that - but I again asked them to not do their thing around my kids... I just don't want them growing up to think it's a cool thing to take up with your friends husband...
Anyway suffice it to say it's been very difficult here - so my apologies for not being around as much.
It is beyond reason as to why any sane father would not only allow, but drop his 14 year old daughter off at a Rave party!!!! Does he not understand how dangerous those sorts of places are for young girls. Has he lost his mind???? I am so very furious for you. Not to mention leaving the younger kids alone. This is just going way too far.
And the 19 year old, trust your instincts babe. No matter how nice he is 19 year old young men will most likely be looking for a sexual relationship. She isn't even the age of consent yet. I am so glad that she has agreed to talk to someone about it, she is a very sensible young lady and I hope that she discontinues her relationship with him. FOTY is allowing her to get into some very risky situations, he is child like. The man is nutty.
Oh hun, I'm seething for you. This man, no this worm is just proving that he doesn't deserve your love.
If there is anything at all I can do please just let me know.
Deb, I am sorry that things are so difficult for you at the moment. The one good thing about your DD being 14 is that the "relationships" do not last very long.
My parents were divorced when I was a preteen. It was very difficult for me. I think it would have been good if my mom explained to me why it was happening and told me the truth. I was mature enough to hear and understand it. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to get along with your ex at the moment. My parents cannot be in the same room without screaming at each other all these years later. Unfortunately he will be a part of your life and your childrens lives forever. I hope that at some point you are able to have enough of a relationship that you can make decisions about/for the care of your children together.
Sorry girls I'm here but just reading and not posting atm. I'm not in a good head space right now but as soon as I start feeling a bit better I'll post more. to everyone who needs them.
Deb - your children are very lucky to have such an amazing, wise and strong mother. I agree that FOTY is a twit at best, and children shouldnt be lied to, let loose and used in the way he does. Court proceedings are probably a good idea as you cant live in limbo and need to sort your life out. DD sounds like a smart girl, she will see that a 19yo is not for her. Sending you massive
Mako - hope your ok sweety
AFM -making progress with DH on the middle name front, but still dont have the 100% go ahead.
On a side note, Im meeting up with an old friend today, one who is linked strongly to my past, i love her to bits and cant wait to see her and her children but we always end up discussing him and then I end up thinking about him for days afterwards . Dont know if its a good thing to see her regularly...
Deb, wow, what a loser! I am seriously gobsmacked that a dad would do all of that. Sounds like you're doing all the right things lovely, and good on you for starting court proceedings.
Mako, hope you're okay hun you know we're here for you if you want to chat/vent, but we also understand that sometimes it's just too hard to post. Take care of yourself
Jo, that is fantastic news!!!!!!!!
Lisa, I think I've missed something???? I hope you have a lovely day though hun.........any chance you can put a ban on talking about 'him'?
Sorry, but I'm another who is reading and not posting much. Have been feeling so overwhelmed lately - mothering 4 children is so completely demanding, it really takes nothing for me to feel out of my comfort zone. I really don't know what to do to help myself???? I don't have any family support, and have a few nice friends, but they are all really busy too. Remy (18 months) is really full on, and Flynn does not sleep in the day much at all, that combined with taxi-ing the older ones around, cooking, cleaning, shopping - I hate to say this, but some days I just feel like a slave, and there is no time for FUN, I hate feeling like this. I feel like I'm working from dawn till dusk (or beyond), get no time for myself, am feeling a bit trapped. Had to get that all out - I guess having said that, some days are better than others, but I find myself teary almost every day. Dh is fairly good when he's around, but he works full time, but is helpful when he is home. Arrrggghhhhh, sorry to vent, I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like this - I just want to feel happy and back to my old self, can't see it yet....
Apologies for the selfish post - congrants Jo on your good scan!! Deb, have pm'd you xoxo
I hope things stay on track & you enjoy that wine. ..
So, you can imagine how difficult this is. To give her her due she came to me the next day to tell me that she had gone to the party & knew it was the wrong thing to do. I was proud of her honesty. Her father had told her not to tell me as "I would go mad"... You've gotta love the maturity of someone who is trying to win points with his 14year old daughter...
. Dont know if its a good thing to see her regularly...
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