Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ December 09

[~Jayne~]

WILLOW _ I have sympathy for you because my 2 are terrified of the pressure sprayer to the point where I have to ask my dad to do it when he comes to visit. They are ok if somebody else does it, but for some reason if I do the pressure spraying they go insane. It's frustrating but they are entitled to be scared of something I guess. I'd just go with letting him snuggle you, he will grow out if it in time (I hope! LOL). Also, I'm the same with you about the time of year it is, you just want the routine back & the house back in order. I was exactly like that when Alan was here, the house wasn't as tidy as it usually is & I just felt out of control with it. The first day he was gone I scrubbed & washed & mopped & vacuumed & now it's back how I like it. We spent so much time out & about that I just never got around to doing what I should be.

[Willow]

Also, I'm the same with you about the time of year it is, you just want the routine back & the house back in order. I was exactly like that when Alan was here, the house wasn't as tidy as it usually is & I just felt out of control with it. The first day he was gone I scrubbed & washed & mopped & vacuumed & now it's back how I like it. We spent so much time out & about that I just never got around to doing what I should be

Ahhh, I'm glad I'm not the only one! The house is seriously driving me nuts and DD is the worst offender. That kid makes more mess than the rest of us put together! The house was always cleanest on her preschool days! LOL.

As for the mower - DH says we need to get him used to it but he is terrified to the point his whole body is shaking and I can feel his little heart beating a million miles an hour. So I just let him run around and close all the doors and sit on my lap. But it's getting to the point now where he even freaks out if I want to go outside or even get up to get a drink! I have no idea when or why it got this bad.

[Spring Angel]

Hey girls, just popping in. Still here and trying to keep up with personals but just not finding the time in the day.

Had a really good day with DS today, got on top of his gas issues so hoping for a calm night. He did 6 hours stint last night. I usually I wouldn't let him go that long overnight, but he'd struggled for 3 hours straight to poo so I let the little fella catch up.

Hi to everyone, I promise I won't be so slack for much longer.

Spring xx

[Lee]

Hi girls - I'm sorry but am with Spring - too tired for personals. I am SO TIRED, Flynn has not slept more than 4 hours tops since birth and I'm hanging for a longer stint! Tell me when this will happen???????????? Other than that he is just so gorgeous, and is giving his mummy little smiles, I'm so in love.

Hugs to everyone, and I'll be back in properly soon!

Lee xo

[Michelle71]

Hi girls - would love to catch up but I am working the 25th /26th Might need to be the next one.

Jayne - DH is ok. We worked together for a few hours tonight which was lovely. He is a cheeky turd though and loves to tease Good thing most people know we are married!!! Although there are a few still in the dark

Well, DD is better - just viral so we didn't end up needing to get the wee, thank goodness!! But this morning DS said "mummy, I feel sick". Poor little tiger. So one gets better and the other one crashes and burns. As long as mummy and daddy stay well, all will be good.

AFM - I finally bit the bullet and booked for my nuchal Hasn't that snuck up. DH unfortunately won't be able to come as the only appointment I could get is on the day when he is fully tied up at work. Oh well, serves me right for living in de-nile again. Gotta love that river

BBL - going to try to chill before bed as the little people are all mine again tomorrow while DH works so there is no nap for me!!

[mako]

Sorry to throw a spanner in the works but would we be able to change the meet up to the following Monday or even the one after that? DH has just informed me that he isn't working that day and thought we might go away on the Saturday and come home on the Monday.
Michelle would any of these days suit you better?

Joanne sorry if that won't work for you though. I'd love to meet you sometime though

Rach if you want to come along again I'll be driving and will take our other car. DH has put in the other bolt so we can fit all seats/capsules in there

[JCE0810]

Mako: Dont be silly no need to apologise, enjoy your weekend away with DH, i'm sure i'll be able to make it down to Sydney another time for a meet-up.

[Michelle71]

1st is good for me

[rach2281]

Mako - aww hun, don't apoligise. In no way did you offend me. I know how hard it is sweety. I was the same for a long time after Lilli passed, and it buggered me even more when a certain someone would complain about their bubs not "sleeping through" you know who i mean.

Willow - ME TO on the DH front. Mine goes back monday Love him being home, but im over it now lol.

Michelle - yay on booking your scan!! Hope you don't get sick and DS doesn't get it for to long.

Lee- with ethan, he was a terror!!! he would wake and feed every 2hrs for mths, he actually didn't sleep through till he was14mths old. Though both my girls have been angels in comparison. Evangeline did her first 8hr sleep when she was around 8wks. She was going longer and longer each night from around that 6wk mark.

AFM- Sorry girls i can't go on the 1st, its Ethan's first day of kindergarten Where has the last 5yrs gone??? hope you girls enjoy yourselfs though. Also im currently helping a friend out, she's collecting donated teddies, for the teddy love club. They are a support group for pregnacy and infant loss. Im trying to do something every mth that helps other ppl, it was my new yrs resalution. Ive already know what the mth of november will be, but need to look into it more.
Also, seems my boosting my supply didn't work as well as i thought Evangeline had 2 formula bottles, poor girl was starving. I don't want to give up bf yet, so do you all think i can top her up on formula???

[Willow]

Ditto for me on the 1st - my baby girl starts school that day too!

[butterfly_warrior]

Moving it later means I'm out as I'll be back at work then. Don't worry about me, though - I'm sure we can manage another one in school holidays later in the year.

BW

[Michelle71]

Rach - if you top her up on formula it is less likely your supply will keep up What do you want to do?? The odd FF is ok but a regular one can make the BF path more difficult. What makes you think she isn't getting enough?? Is it just the fussiness?? Is she having a wonder week?? Janie should be about for some advice too ...

[mako]

Would the week after the 1st work better for everyone???? I don't mind when we do it if we can make it a Monday that would be good though. I forgot about the Monday being 1st day for the kindy kids.

Willow Sage was the same with the mower until just after his 2nd birthday. He would freak out every time someone in our street would start their mower. MIL bought him a Mike the Mower which has sounds(yep noisy) and that has seemed to help as he now has to be outside "mowing" when we are lol.

Rach Keep keep keep feeding Evangeline. That is the best way to boost your supply hun. Keep drinking water when you are feeding her too to keep you hydrated. Have you tried Aktavite? Its in the same place as Milo in the supermarket. I've heard that helps
I'll bring a teddy to Jada's party at the park on Wednesday if that's ok. I'll be a little late as I have to work but we'll definately be there. Such a lovely idea about doing something like that once a month. Shame the hospitals up here don't have that program for us Mummy's who've suffered a loss

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

[Bun]

kelly - glad to hear Luke is ok after his fall, that must have been scary. I hope you have a lovely time with your family in Perth

mako - how are you going sweetie? No, I don't have a birth announcer yet, I feel so disorganised this time! Got the capsule yest so at least I know have something organised!

mako & willow - DD is terrified of the vacuum cleaner which is strange because other loud noises don't seem to bother her at all. DH thinks it's because I use the vac too rarely so she gets freaked out when it comes out!

Lee - sweetie, the sleep deprivation is soooo difficult. I hope your gorgeous boy starts sleeping a little longer soon. And yay on the smiles! So beautiful.

michelle - glad to hear DD is ok now and I hope DS manages to stay healthy too!

Spring - good to hear from you sweetie. How is Ollie going, still in love with his new little brother? I hope you are enjoying this family time, it is so special.

Hi to everyone else, sorry for no more personals but I need to have a nap before DD wakes up! I am still getting v little sleep at night, although the BHs i have been getting at night are not as bad now which is annoying as I was starting to think that this bub was going to be early! Now I am not sure what is going on. Have an OB appointment on Tues, not sure if he will do an internal as I will be 38 weeks then, but I would love to know if all this pain has actually made any progress! I am soooo huge and bubs' movements are very painful now as there is so little room. I am finally getting organised, although the babysitters we have arranged for DD are away until Tues so if something happens before then we are stuffed as she is not the easiest child to leave with people and there is no one else here that I think she would be comfortable being left with! Sigh... i will probably still be waiting on Tues so it probably won't become an issue anyway, it's just so frustrating having no idea when bub is going to come out! Anyway, rant over and I am off for my nap now...

[~Jayne~]

BUN _ I"m loving your DH with the dig about the vacuum cleaner! It's exactly what mine would say! Don't stress yourself out about having a sitter for DD if you go into labour, you're just going to worry yourself into labour about it. Just chill out a bit & cross the bridge if/when you come to it! I had a similar thing when I was having Claudia, I was terrified I'd go into labour too hard & fast & Alan wouldn't get home from work in time. I sent myself into a real tizz about it to the point I even rang the hospital about it but in the end it wasn't necessary.

MICHELLE _ I could have used you today when Claudia chinned herself on the step at home. I was more freaking out because I could see the cut was deep but blood wasn't gushing. It was trickling out, but not pouring out like I expected. LOL. All good now though! Lovely nurse & doctor at the Medical Centre were fantastic.

MAKO _ Have you & DH talked about TTC again or are you not ready?

RACH _ My advice is the same as Mako's, just please keep up with the feeding (if you do want to continue with the BF), the more bottles you offer, the less you will supply so I would just keep putting her on, have you got a pump that you can express to stimulate a further supply between her feeds? JANIE is the whizz on this kinda thing, so I hope she gets in here soon to help out more.

BW _ WORK????? Tell me more! What do you do? Oh & congrats on the toddler!!! How awesome.

LEE _ Sorry that Flynn isn't much for the sleeping, I hope he really improves & quickly for you, you must be drained!

SPRING _ Listen here woman, don't apologise for being scarce, you have the best excuse ever! You have those spunky little men to worry bout first, we are just 'additional extra's'!

ME/US _ All good here, got my friend coming for her usual D&D dinner tonight, Claudia has chinned herself a ripper & has 4 steri strips & a dressing keeping her gash together. I can't believe how cool I was, even though I had to trek 4 kids to the Medical Centre to have it seen to. I was more stressing that it wasn't pouring with blood, I was waiting for the big gush to come, but it just trickled (I don't do good with blood).

Have a wonderful Saturday night everybody!

Love Jayne

[Freya]

I am soooooooooo bored. I should be enjoying being 3yo free and having BOTH the other boys in bed; I even got to watch a movie in peace. But no Im bored and feeling melancholy.

Glad C isnt worse for wear Jayne and didnt need stitches.

[Janie]

Hi all! Sorry to have been MIA, but I have been lurking and reading (almost) all your posts since we came back from hols.

Spring, congrats lovely! I am so pleased for you, and it sounds as though things are going really well. Please don't apologise, we all understand that time at the 'puter is precious right now .

Lee, it will happen hun!!! I have no idea when, but it will. I remember those days, of thinking I'd give my right arm to have more than two hours sleep in a row. My DS has never been a great sleeper, so I won't tell you how long it took for him to sleep longer, but it did happen, and the short stretches feel like a long time ago now! Lovely to hear you so in love though. Don't worry about personals, just keep popping in to say hi.

Anna, I soooooo know the feeling. Sometimes you'd do anything for that alone time, and other times you just don't want to be alone, it's too boring. Hope your night improved hun!

Jayne, what a cool calm mummy! Taking four kids along to the Drs sounds like no mean feat I hope Claudy's okay, poor little possum.

Bun, hang in there hun . The unknown is so hard, but remember that your baby will be born when s/he is ready. Your body sounds like it's been doing lots of preparations, which is great! Try to rest up while you're getting a break from the BHs, you know you'll need your energy! I'm sure it's concerning worrying about who will look after Catherine if you go into labour before Tuesday, but these things often have a way of working themselves out. And only 48 hours to go!!! Oh, and I'm sooooo jealous that you get to have a nap........DS hasn't had a day sleep for a week .

Oh wow BW, not long til you're back at school! Are you excited? Nervous? Looking forward to it?

Michelle, my freaky twin , great to chat the other night. I hope things are on the up, and that DS is healthy .

Mako, have been thinking of you alot hun. Here for you if you want to chat, but understand if you don't (or can't) .

Willow, renos hey, excitement! I wish ours would hurry up, I'm soooo over it. I just want end product! I can't help it, I'm only female. Saw your floor thread, sounds like it will work really well! You know, your house sounds so much like ours. But we don't currently have any plans to move LOL.

Rach, I'm sorry that things seem a little stressful with feeding Evangeline lately. Can you tell me what has been happening? The other girls are right in saying that giving more bottles will only decrease your supply.........however that doesn't mean that you can't combine the two. But if you want to get back to fully breastfeeding, I'm positive you can! Can you tell me what led you to believe that she needed extra milk? And about what you were doing to boost your supply?

Bek, I am soooo excited for you hun that you and Eva have made it to 6 months! Well done darl!!!!!!!

Kelly, hope you're having a great time hun! Have been thinking of you, hope all the sleep stuff was okay yesterday.

I'm so sorry to those I've missed, I'm sure there is someone. I am such a lala-head at the moment, I keep telling people my brain is in my stomach

AFM, well I think I'm struggling. I know it will get better, I think it's just the warm weather, and kinda parenting on my own ATM. To be fair, DH is trying to do lots when he's here, but he's just not here that much! That really annoys me, and I'm mean to him when he is here. And DS is moving from his lovely, cuddly, affectionate stage, to being a real BOY. I don't know if that's a normal thing, or if he just knows that things are changing. It would help if I wasn't so tired, and had more patience with him, poor kid. I'm just so stressed, about lots of little things. I try to remind myself that they are little things, my life is good. But everything is getting on top of me. I think I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow..........in 41 degree heat! If it weren't school holidays, I would be staying home for sure. I know it's going to take me days to recover from doing it. But there is no one around to replace me, so I'll do the right thing. I keep telling myself, only 6 weeks to go!!!!! But then I feel like I'm wishing this pg away. And as it's likely our last, I want to make the most of it. And I have soooooo many things to do before the baby arrives! Please little one, hang in there until we're 37 or 38 weeks!!!!!!

[Michelle71]

Janie - rest woman!!!! Deep breath. There is nothing more important than you and your little people ATM (DH can be one of the little people ) The boys are changing but they do come back to being cuddly too. It is a stage where they are distracted *doing* stuff. Unscrewing a toy (designed for that purpose) and then putting it back together is currently our favourite game Just take a day at a time and rest up. I completely understand the short fuse too

AFM - going for a nap while I have the chance!!! DD has just gone down and DS is in bed with DH. Poor baby (DS) is sick and had a big vomit this morning. DH is going out today to catch up with a friend but had a shocker with DS who was awake hourly overnight. For a reason obviously after the vomit!!! Hoping to avoid it but feeling like vomiting myself this morning

BBL - hopefully vomit free!!!