Lee: firstly I Can read the pain in your words. I am so so sorry that your DH1 was taken from you. I can't even imagine what it must be like to walk that journey. It must hurt so darn hard. I think you are dealing with such huge issues that dredge up very intense feelings of grief and loss. Hun, perhaps it's time to reach out and ask for help. Perhaps seek some counselling. I've been to counselling before and it really helped me. No one expects you to get through this alone. If it is upsetting you on a daily basis then I think it might be time to reach out. A huge cuddle is coming your way.

Jayne: 25 kgs will still be in my healthy weight range