Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February/March 2010
Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.
I know that many of our regular members of this thread are having very difficult times at the moment - I hope we can continue to be supportive & hopeful in times that sometimes are very difficult. Welcome to our new members - it is always wonderful to have new members to share this journey.
Janie we are all here supporting you as you welcome your baby earthside this month. There are a number of us facing challenges this week so now more than ever we are here all supporting eachother.
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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!
Thanks mako Having a quiet day cause E had a terrible night with her breathing again last night, but it has been OK so far. DD1 was very excited to give me the card she had written on all by herself LOL and thought it was great that its my birthday. No presents though, I got a new car a month ago which was my present LOL its a long story. Glad you enjoyed the concert, stupid smokers though yuck!
Janie - All the very best for tomorrow hun, although I will say that I think today is a great day to be born But seriously I'm sure everything will go great for you, so very exciting to be finally meeting your bub.
Hi everyone else, hope you are all good today, sorry for no more persies.
Happy Birthday Lee and Megsmum. I hope you both have wonderful days.
Willow - Miss L is up for sale atm. Her tantrums are beyond it and I dread every time we have to get in and out of the car. On the other hand she did a wee on the potty all by herself today.
Janie - wow, best of luck sweetie!! I hope all goes well tomorrow (I am sure it will) and I can't wait to hear of your little one's arrival. My money is on pink!
megsmum & Lee - happy birthday lovelies! I hope you have both had a lovely day.
Jo - how are you feeling?
Lisa - glad to hear you are getting more movements now.
Spring - I hope DH is healing up ok.
mako - glad to hear you had a lovely time at ACDC. I am also a pet hater of smoking so I would have shared your annoyance!
We have made some progress with the night bottle issue. For the last two nights we have let DD have her bottle as usual when she goes to bed, then have gone in and taken it away after she has fallen asleep and replaced it with a water bottle. Surprisingly she seems fine with this, I was expecting her to hit the roof when she noticed what we had done! However she is still getting us up just as often (four times each the last two nights) because she has lost a dummy. I think I may start to attach them to her at night and I am going to get air wrap to put around the cot so that they hopefully don't fall out as much. I had thought there was no point getting it as she would be a big girl bed soon, but the bed has been set up for a while now and she is showing no signs at all of wanting to actually sleep in it!
I am getting a little worried about Josh. He is a wonderful baby, so gorgeous and has slept a five hour stint the last two nights which is fantastic but I am worried about other developmental issues. Although he rolled over while in hosp, he hasn't done it again, and although I once thought I saw him smile, he hasn't done it again and I am worried that he should be doing these things now? I have been trying so hard to make him smile, but he is just not doing it. He will be 6 weeks tomorrow - is that normal?
All the very best Janie.. thinking of you and can't wait to hear the exciting news. Hope you get some much needed rest tonight hun.
Sorry, haven't had a chance to catch up on everything. Just dropped our friends back at the airport and I'm really sad.. there have been a few tears. Not really sure why.. we had a great time and I'll miss them heaps but I think the fact that my friend is pg and I've held it all in for the last four days, is probably the main reason. It was also so great to see the two kids playing with each other.. they're at a great age and I hate that they're so far apart again now and won't see each other for a while. God, I hate feeling like this, I just want to be happy again. Doesn't help that I have soooo much cleaning up to do and feel guilty for spending so much money while they were over. Oh well, was worth it, we had such a great time.
Now just need to get through the rest of this week and my Mum is over on Monday, that will be amazing but god, if I feel like this after my friends leaving, how hard is it going to be when Mum leaves after two weeks.
Bun - I think that's completely normal! I wouldn't expect a baby to smile until around 6 weeks really. I think DS2 did around 4 weeks but seriously, what's 2 weeks? I really wouldn't worry babe Also, DS2 is not much of a roller. He learnt to roll from his back to his tummy ages ago but never went the other way. He just loves being on his tummy. Hasn't slowed him down any and he is now in the process of learning to crawl - up on all fours and shuffling his way around the lounge room. He's also sitting up unassisted etc. Glad to hear you've had some progress on the bottle - well done One down, one to go! You know the other suggestion with dummies I've heard is to put a little soft hat like a beanie in the corner of her cot with a few dummies in it so that if she wakes in the night, she knows where to find one. Just thought of that one today. I don't know anyone who's done it but sounds OK in theory?
Kelly - I feel so badly for you babe because I know what a really, really hard time this is. I hope you're feeling a bit brighter in the morning.
Thinking of Janie and bub tonight in anticipation of the big day tomorrow - you are both in my prayers and I will light my candles for you tommorow as I await news of his () arrival.
Re: Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February/March 2010
Hi guys!! Sorry for the delay. Scan was good. A few bits will be checked at the next scan due to position issues but all is ok. Left for the IL's for the weekend so I didn't get to post.
Having serious parenting doubts ATM and overwhelmed by it all. Just missing some additional support and I feel like if I complain too much the discussion for family size will cease Think I need to read a book on raising boys for some tactics - and Pinky's toddler book came with me too
Michelle, i have no doubt that you are doing a brilliant job But doing some reading may help you to feel better, i know it helps me at times. Look after yourself, and have faith - you are a brilliant mummy
Janie - you amaze me woman, still finding time to post and support others! So glad D is doing well and yes its amazing that he is able to have EBM, the little boy needs the best start no matter where it comes from. I took Fenugreek to help my milk come in and keep my supply up with DD - just a thought. How are you doing after c/s?? Sending you lots of and fatty baby vibes to D.
Michelle - glad the scan went well, and im sure its normal to question parenting abilities when you are expecting another bub and DS is probably at that very tricky age, but some good books, deep breaths and fresh air will do you wonders
Big hello to everyone else, my PC is sooo slow this morning its driving me mad - im off to pick up new baby seat and some bits and bobs and will BBL to catch up with everyone else.
JANIE _ I can't donate any EBM for baby Daniel, but I'm happy to donate some fat???
This morning I woke at 7am & remembered sitting on the edge of my hospital bed exactly 3 years previously - to the minute & leaning right over Curly's little cot with my ear against her face to listen to her breathing as she had been sleeping for 7 continunous hours at that stage! Her first night she slept from midnight til 8am. Sorry, sorry, sorry to all the sleepless mummies, but I remember sitting on the edge of my bed feeling very undecided on if I wake her or let her continue sleeping.
Michelle - so glad everything is ok and totally understand how you're feeling... I'm feeling a bit the same and I only have one of them to worry about (and no work)... we had a very bad day/night with DS yesterday and it really does make you question your parenting abilities... what if I'm doing it all wrong.. blah blah... so frustrating and confusing. Hope you get some more advice from the books.. let me know if you do.. I'm a a loss right now!!
Janie - You're incredible and I'm so proud of little Daniel!
Jayne - You crack me up.. I've missed you in here!! What a beautiful way to wake up this morning.. such a precious memory that you'll aways have!!
Lisa - OMG hun.. look at your ticker now!! Not long to go!! Any news on bubs position?? Hope he/she has turned again!
Hope everyone else is well. I just got a lovely bunch of flowers delivered to my door.. such a surprise, I can't remember the last time that happened!!! They were from my friend who just came and stayed with us.. to say thank you for having them over and taking them around... so lovely. Definately helped lift my spirits a bit. I locked myself out of the damn house AGAIN today... can't believe it. I'm so frustrated adn annoyed with myself.. what's wrong with me atm. Anyway I'm sick of whinging so might just try not to post for a bit and get myself together.. will keep reading but don't want to keep complaining and whinging.. there's too much good news for everyone to celebrate. Am actually going out tonight with some girls I met at playgroup, so might have a few drinks, I think I need them - LOL.
LISA _ Oh chick, you are so, so, so close now! I can't believe it! How exciting, I can't wait to hear bubby has arrived. I really hope that Miss A isn't sick, let us know how you go with the Dr appointment. What a bugger that she is unwell.
KEL _ I know exactly what you mean, sometimes you just need to let your hair down! I was a boozy girl all over the Christmas holidays & I'm NEVER a drinker, always the driver, but it felt good to do something I wouldn't normally do. Explains why I never lost any weight over the festive season, but still I had fun! Glad your mum is going to be over, do you live at the zoo these days? I'm sure you tell me every second day you're off to the zoo! LOL
MICHELLE _ Where are you chicky?
WILLOW _ Glad the girl went off to school today & I must thank you for jinxing me. Claudia has a runny nose now & had 2 blood noses late afternoon yesterday, so thanks for that! LOL
BUN _ Oh no you poor thing, if it's not one it's the other with the sleep! It sounds to me like they have a plan devised!! I hope you get it sorted soon & you start getting some rest over night! xx
Just wanted to drop in and tell you that one of the school mums approached me for a chat this afternoon and asked me to her place for a coffee one day
Just when I'd given up trying to make an effort, someone wants to be my friend
Probably not a big deal to most of you but this sort of thing doesn't happen to me very often at all. I don't do well in social situations
BBL for a proper post but just wanted to share the brightest part of my day today.
PS Michelle - my big boy is driving me BONKERS this week too. It just dawned on me yesterday that perhaps he is missing his sister and has no one to play with
KELLY _ Maybe you should get one of those little dummy clip thingies & attach your keys to yourself??? hehehee, I"m sorry, it's not funny, but it sooooooo is! Sorry Luke was a handful the other day - they go in stages. As sweet as Curly is, I definitely have my moments with her, but I'm happy to say my moments with Jess are now few & far betweeen, so trust me when I tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel!
WILLOW _ That's awesome that you're making a mummy/school friend. I made a spectacular school friend last year & now our kids are in different classes, but we are still seeing each other a lot & it's so much fun. We are all going to Dora Concert in May & staying overnight in the city together. I really hope you have a wonderful afternoon with your new friend!!! I'm very happy for you. I didn't know you weren't making school friends though? I don't do well in clickey click groups & we definitely have a few of them, so I don't have heaps of school friends either.
It's sooooooooooo freaking hot here today, I am loving the aircon! I'm so scared to get my power bill though.
Re: Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February/March 2010
Mmmmm - chocolate cake LOL Sounds wonderful. More acupuncture if you can get it. And as weird as it sounds, make peace with the path your baby has chosen. Be happy they will come when they are ready and in the manner they choose. You have done everything you can to prepare for this birth. Now is the time to trust in your little one and give them the control. It wasn't until a chat with Deb and resigning myself to following the path of the baby that Lily made her grand entrance. I had to let go and in doing so released the tension and stress that was making her think twice about arriving.
BBL girls. Feeling ok today. Omar has been more active and mummy is slightly less stressed. At the beauticians too for a pedicure which is always good for the soul!!
Thanks Michelle i think i will need to do just that and have a chat with this little bubba.. i'll put miss a down for a nap and light some candles to help.
Lisa It is so hard to actually let go but it is so important. They sense the anxiety / tension. If you can, light the candles and sit in a darkened space for a little while. Visualise the tension of waiting for this baby to arrive and the tension of preparing for a VBAC flowing out the bottom of your feet and out your fingertips. Feel the energy flow and as you do, visualise the uterus relaxing and opening like a flower. Like the petals as they open outwards. Do some focused breathing while you are visualising and with each breath out feel the tension leave your body. With each breath in feel a blanket of peace wrapping around you (or you can visualise white light being drawn in and surrounding you). When you are ready - shake your hands and feet to remove the tension clinging to them. Take a few deep breaths yoga style and know that you are ready, relaxed and prepared to accept the path your baby has chosen.
You can do a bath too where you spend some time talking to your baby and enjoying the few last moments of that beautiful belly and the movements inside (assuming you can get out )
You are ready. You can do this. You are prepared. Now is the time to let go and accept there is nothing more for you to do but wait and trust Give me a call if you need to chat. I know how hard those days just waiting are
Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February/March 2010
Having a quiet day cause E had a terrible night with her breathing again last night, but it has been OK so far. DD1 was very excited to give me the card she had written on all by herself LOL and thought it was great that its my birthday. No presents though, I got a new car a month ago which was my present LOL its a long story. Glad you enjoyed the concert, stupid smokers though yuck!
But seriously I'm sure everything will go great for you, so very exciting to be finally meeting your bub.
Also, DS2 is not much of a roller. He learnt to roll from his back to his tummy ages ago but never went the other way. He just loves being on his tummy. Hasn't slowed him down any and he is now in the process of learning to crawl - up on all fours and shuffling his way around the lounge room. He's also sitting up unassisted etc. Glad to hear you've had some progress on the bottle - well done 
Think I need to read a book on raising boys for some tactics - and Pinky's toddler book came with me too 
Her first night she slept from midnight til 8am. Sorry, sorry, sorry to all the sleepless mummies, but I remember sitting on the edge of my bed feeling very undecided on if I wake her or let her continue sleeping. 
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