it is soooo frustrating isn't it.

My husband started to get like this too (although he does work), but eventually i just had to give him the ultimatum (even though i didn't really mean it). I told him he had to start helping me with ds or he could pack his crap and leave cause it was like I was a single mum anyway.

It worked for me and I have trained dh nicely into a routine, without him even really reaslising it (it did take some time and some nagging). it was the only way I could do it because he just WOULD NOT listen to me when I was trying to ask him i needed help.

good luck