At the moment i'm feeling very overwhelmed and alone I feel like a single mum at the moment because it just seems like my DH is always away. He's the manager of a travel business and it takes up a lot of his time. I understand that being the manager he has to put in more hours or pick up the slack but i just feel like he puts in more time than he needs too and that means less time with his family.
I knew Dh was a workaholic when i married him but i thought he'd spend more time at home once the boys came along. He has improved a lot since i met him, he used to stay at work until 9pm at night when knock off time was 5:30pm. These days he's usually home by 6-6:30pm. His work is commission based so i understand that he has to put in that bit extra so we can live the way we do but sometimes i don't think its worth it. I tell him all the time that i'd rather live in a tent if it meant we'd spend more time as a family.
He has to go to Sydney once a month for 2 days for meetings and at the moment he's also going away twice a month to help out in another shop 4 hours away. He's been away in Singapore this weekend for work(he's waiting around in Syd now for his flight home) and he just rang me and told me that he's going to have to go into work as soon as he gets back because one of the girls just called in sick. I just burst into tears because its always the same story. I feel like he spends more time at work than he does at home and when he says he'll be home or have a weekend off i just take it with a grain of salt because half the time he ends up back at work.
I feel really resentful because i feel as though he doesn't have to spend that much time at work but he choses to.. he never takes sick days even if he's sick, when we have holidays (not very often!) all the good dates have been taken because he hasn't bothered to put in for time off even though he's the boss, he's meant to take an RDO once a month but he never does unless i nag him.

His goal is to become an area leader (take over his boss' role) in the future which means he'll be away even more. I try to be supportive for his sake but really i dread him getting the position.
On top of that he also plays footy which i know is really important for him to do something other than work but that takes up even more of his time, he has training twice a week so he doesn't get home untill 9pm and when footy season starts up he's gone every saturady for 3 months so i pretty much only see him on Sunday- and if we go to church then thats half the day gone

On top of all that the boys are both absolutley ferrel at the moment. DS1 is tantruming pretty much all day and fighting his night and day sleeps and DS2 has been feeding every 1-2 hours round the clock for 2 weeks straight and is so hard to settle. I'm just so tired and i need DH's support but i'm not getting it. When he is home he's great with the kids and i feel terrible every time we have a fight because he's really sensitive and takes everything to heart. I've tryed talking to him about it and telling how i feel numerous times but we always end up in a fight because he thinks i'm attacking him. So when i tell him that i need him home because i need his help and i feel like he spends too much time at work all he hears is that he's a bad father.

I'm sorry for such a long post i just needed to get it all out because i feel like i have no one i can talk to about it