We did originally have a tentative agreement to discuss #3 when DS was 2 but over the last few months DH is getting more and more content with our kids and is loving moving into stage of having little kids not babies. He loves that DS is now walking and is that tiny bit independant and we don't have to take the massive nappy bag and can make do without the pram if we need to. I want him to want more kids not just give in to me IYKWIM. If only there was a magic wand for us.
Get a friend with an exceptionally cute, well behaved baby and invite them over
I have three really cute ones if you want to borrow to wave at him, but one is a tweenager so probably not the kind of cute you need to encourage babies. More the kind that encourages tweenage boys ...
Before having children DH and I decided 2 children was enough for us. DH was certain of it. In fact he said he would never agree to another and continued to say so after DS2 was born. He was happy and content with his 2 little boys.
I on the other hand was shocked to find that I wasnt feeling content with only 2. I kept thinking 'is that it, but Im only 27' how can I already be done? I have 5 siblings so to only have 2 kids seemed strange. I just didnt feel complete. I was very depressed at the thought of not having any more. Luckilly DH saw how it was affecting me and although I never forced it upon him, finally he agreed it wouldnt be so bad to have another. Funnily enough, he is actually looking forward to it now.
If it means that much to you, then talk to your DH about it. You could ask yourself if your want for another is greater than his want to be finished. Maybe if he had a chance to think about it he might not think it is so bad. Also, maybe if you really think about it you will discover you really are content with 2, because honestly sometimes the thought of 3 kids scares me.
The other thing I worry about is whether I will feel complete after having #3. I know for sure my mum wasnt, and for us there is no way we will be going for #4. I do worry about that. I worry about how I'll feel when Im done with having kids too. Its hard especially when you arent ready.
My mum has told me in the past that when she and dad decided that 3 was enough after my youngest sister was born, she had to grieve. In particular she said the moment immediately after the baby is born when she felt that rush of unconditional love unlike anything she'd ever felt before, was such a magical moment that the idea she would never have that again made her feel quite sad. I think she has just focused on enjoying us at every age we are, doing different things, planning holidays, and now that we are all in our twenties I think she is very much looking forward to being a nana
I really do know how you feel and I do sympathise with you. I have been grieving for months and it is getting better, although I just knew I had to have number 3. If I was younger with less aches and pains and more patience I would go for another. For now I am focusing on moving forward.
I must say I feel the same way.
I have been blessed with three beautiful children and three wonderful pregnancies and births.
I had always said I wanted 4, DH has said 3.
So we have three. I would love another little bubba to join our clan. In reality I don't see it happening unless its a whoopsie.
Dh likes the comforts of life and with our eldest being nearly 12 I think he is looking forward to some grown up times, although with the youngest being 2 its a long way off.
I know how you feel, in bucket loads Dan, I'm tearing up typing this ! I have 2 teenagers DH and I have a 3yr old. I made no secret of the fact that I wanted another IF the prenancy with DS 3 went well, it did. When he reached 1 yr old I mentioned when to start trying again and he just flat out said NO. Its been 18 months since he really put his foot down and I still think about it every day and cry about it frequently. There is an age factor for us, I am now 42 and he is 45. I dont see that as too much of a problem. To me its like DS 3 is an only child as he is so much younger and teenagers are so into their social lives a preschooler doesnt really enter into it much. Its just another reason to want 1 more though. Really its me that wants another SO MUCH. Any way none of this helps you, sorry, I'm just another greiving ! I hope it helps to know you are not the only one. I know it helps me , just a bit , knowing you all understand how I feel right now.
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