How the eff am I going to do this??

[fionas]

Darl, my partner's a shiftworker who is away most nights, though fortunately is not on a FIFO deal. Regardless, I pooed my pants worrying about how I would cope putting two to bed on my own but ya know what, it just works itself out. I concentrated on DD1 and DD2 just had to fit in with what we were doing.

Will DD have a shower with you instead of doing the bath?

The other thing to remember is that bub is 18 weeks away and chances are that she won't be like this in another 18 weeks. My DD went through a stage where she took aaaaaaaaaages to get to bed too but by the time DD2 was born, she was a dream.

[Party-of-five]

It gets better

[PollyA]

Things get easier.
YOu work out things that work...eventually... My DH and I tag team work/parent so do it alone most nights and right now its pretty hard. We sit with our two for 1-2 hours patting, singing etc most nights. But we've adjusted, and it will pass. We both figured it was a good time to catch up on computer stuff with our iphones and it is where I catch up with BB most nights. And it can be quite enjoyable in a way. They're sometimes really loving, sometimes funny and all too soon they'll be big and wanting their privacy and independance.
I found when DS was a bub he just happily came in DD's room to help me settle her, all he really needed was to be where I was, and he benefited from all the singing etc. It didn't really make it that much harder. And now after one year, they're sharing a room so we settle them together.
Try not to stress ahead of time. You;ll work it out as you have to. And she will sleep one day. It just happens, as though by magic.
Hugs

[Winter]

Should I mention too that I have absolutely no family around too? I have friends but its not the same. I'm flying solo on this gig and that makes it harder too.

There is no chance of DH coming home permenently. He's not qualified for anything but what he does away on the mines. He's been doing it since he was 19 and while his skills are transferable, the cut in pay wouldn't allow me to stay at home. It's just not an option.

I have option but to cope, DD has no option but to cope and we'll muddle our way through it as best we can. Thanks for listening.

And yes, DD is asleep behind the door. But she's asleep and I'm not moving her!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Should I mention too that I have absolutely no family around too? I have friends but its not the same. I'm flying solo on this gig and that makes it harder too.

hun.. my DP is home but there was a time where life would have been a hell of a lot easier had he not been, he didn't help with the girls and not only did i have to deal with them but i had to make sure the things he needed done were done.
I don't have family here and his family would offer but we weren't within a distance for them really to help IYKWIM.

AS the girls said it does eventualy get easier and it WILL sort itself out but in the meantime i hope she settles before bub comes and you can find yourself a nice calm routine that works for everyone.
Just think this new bub could be the perfect angel, sleep easily, wont care about noise, self settle... have my for you.

[Doing my best]

My DH is a shiftworker, so does come home everyday, but he still needs sleep etc.

Parenting with 2 children is hard no matter what. But as frightening as it is to say, I cope better with routine stuff (bath, dinner, bedtime) when DH isn't around. I never thought it would be the way.

It is hard, but you get through it. And I too have to accept the work DH does, otherwise I wouldn't be able to stay home either.

[LimeSlice]

I am in the same boat, though I do get an even week on week off.

I am still new, and I won't lie to you - this is the hardest thing I have ever done; I am being tested in ways I never thought possible, and so is Charlotte. It is a massive, steep learning curve for both of us, all of us really.

I can tell you that the time DH is gone seems to go sooo much faster than it used to! lol Seriously though, the best advice I have so far for all our sanity is try and be flexible, cut yourself some slack, especially cut some slack for your DD1, this will be incredibly hard on her as she will begin to mourn the mother that she knew and learn to deal wth a whole new range of emotions and routines and place in the family. Tough gig being a big sister

It is so hard. But you will muddle through. And you aren't alone... Always here if you need to vent, which you will, I know this because I need to too! lol I am trying to find and learn new tools to help me deal with both of them, the house, attend to DH's needs and my own, a business... We are learning something new everyday.
So far, the thing I am hoping will help most is we are getting a cleaner in once a week for 2 hours, floors, bathrooms, stove and windows once a month. That will I hope take some of the pressure off and let us all focus on the important things for a while.


There will be tears, tantrums, yelling - from both of you, piles of washing or dirty dishes, and days filled with pyjama wearing and not showering... But it is getting easier, 2 months in now and it is getting easier... slowly. xo