it's not a case of "you're the adult, you are 100% responsible" - yes, you need to talk through what happened, admit that you were wrong, and deal with that - but your DD still did something wrong, and she needs to know that. she needs to know that ripping books/hitting the others or whatever else she has done is not acceptable and why. she is old enough to understand if you can talk to her

if you have the time (or can make it), yeah, you need help learning techniques to help you deal with the anger issues. but today, that's not possible - so you just have to deal with what has happened as effectively as possible - no blame, just accepting responsibility kwim??

i admire you opening up and reaching out for help hun. i was talking to someone on skype and fessed up cos i was a mess - i didn't make it to BB though. none of us are perfect, we all have triggers - and i guess you have found one that you now need to learn to "control".

massive hugs my friend
^^yeah that

I think you're an amazing mum who had a bad day.