Well I read your post and I thought - life as an imperfect mother, and good on you for being honest, realizing you need to work on something and planning on doing it . Than I read some of the replies and thought did I read the same post or did I read about someone who beat their child and locked them in a wardrobe?? Obviously you recognize the issue, you reacted in anger and frustration - I don't think smacking is the issue whatsoever, but then I don't have any issue with smacking itself provided it's not hurtful or out of anger - the problem is your self control only took you so far this time. Let's not forget you did show self control - you smacked your child on their bottom and threw them into bed, you didn't assault them and throw them on the ground or into a wall like a DOCS case, you just need to show some more so you can stick to your boundaries and discipline with more restraint next time - I second screaming into a pillow, or locking yourself into the toilet putting your hands in your ears and singing loudly for a couple of minutes when it all gets too much - then taking it on.

You're a good mum, you just had a moment, we all do.