OMG Arimeh, that is exactly us atm!! He is just so horrible to his sisters and when we problem solve what is bothering him is only answer is to send them away.
That said, last night he had a complete turn around and has been 95% back to his old self today. I have no idea why and I suspect it won't last but far out it is so nice to have him speak to me normally instead of yelling and ranting everything. He even joined in a sing along with the girls and I tonight - turns out he secretly knows all the words to 'Let it go' lmao.
Artechim - talking is one of our issues in that he never stops talking. Ever. He even talks in his sleep. I'm happy to listen to what he has to say but sometimes (like when I'm on the phone or talking to someone else) he needs to be polite. Ha. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I've tried talking it out with him but we always come back to the 'I won't do it again' and 'I don't know' as to why he is doing it. It stops for a short while and then back to it.
FL - I don't know. If I knew I would aim to solve it in a heart beat for him but this has been getting progressively worse. I don't believe he is being bullied, but I do think some of his friends have called him on his atrocious behaviour too. He tells me that he cries at school because he misses me, yet, he has my full undivided attention these holidays and if anything, he is much worse.
Pholi - thanks for the suggestion, I've only had a quick look online as the book is out at the library (which I'll have a proper look at), but it looks to be quite difficult if you have other dietary restrictions
Arcadia - thank you I think I will do that tonight
Kateo - I didnt get the stickers but my Lord did I praise him today. I made sure I really focused in on his good behaviours, even if they were hard to find at some stages. We had a huge chat this morning about everything and laid down some basic expectations (like please and thank you!) and I made a real effort today to praise him over and over for the little things, even if he wasn't doing the big things. I also made a point of 'shaking our sillies out' before we went into the store to get the milk. Best shop in years!
I hope the praise works. If you try that for a whole week, just finding anything good then the next week decide with him on a few really important things and praise those.
Good luck. It's so hard to change behaviours and it's so hard to stick to a new system.
You will have ups and downs. Another thing that is great to do is to give the overall day a score out of ten and write it down. You might get the odd 3 or 4 day but if you stick to your guns you'll notice a general upward slide into 8's 9's and 10's. You can even ask DS to score his behaviour for that day. Once you've got the praise thing going on try this after a week or so.......
Good luck.
It's just brutal when they are being unrelentingly awful.
In the short term I find that taking the whole show outdoors can help. Not to the shops but to a park or for a swim or a bush walk. It gives me some breathing space and the ratty one something else to focus on.
DS2 was so awful last year after we moved that we ended up going to a pediatrician and a psychologist. It has helped so much.
I just wanted to add that it's not you. There is something going on with your kid. He's that lovely, wonderful boy, but there's something (or things) happening that he doesn't know how to deal with.
My son is like this too. We've also sought professional advice. He's been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum and sensory processing disorder... he's seeing a pych for anxiety. We are making progress. He's slowly learning to self manage, and though he still gets angry and violent, it is getting a bit better overall.
Getting out of the rut - go outside, add water, something different - does help in the moment. We can easily get stuck in the habit of fighting with our kids. It is hard, though, when they are so unrelenting like this.
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Re: I want to cry
I think I will do that tonight
It's just brutal when they are being unrelentingly awful.
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