Is this a healthy situation for Elly? Seriously, what is Elly learning when she listens to this?

I second getting the counselling but some time out might also be appropriate. Can you take a couple of days away at a friends place and your H can handle it on his own?

Also, have you sat down and spoken to him about it calmly during the day?

It is a difficult situation but you mentioned divorce, so I think work needs to be done now to try and repair the cracks.

Good luck