I am so over people judgeing me and how I parent my child.
I come from an abusive childhood, I am the mother of a special needs child who looks more capable than she is in most aspects.
I am slowly teaching her to be as independent as possible (which is very little) but when I pick her up and carry her because she is injured people think they have the right to judge me and tell me i molycoddle her and I am teaching her to be dependent on me to participate in life.
Yes I am over protective and I will be the first to admit that and given my childhood I could be a lot more protective if I wanted to be, yes at times and in particular situations where it is not appropriate for her to have an autistic out burst I do baby her but after saying all of that I am the first to encourage her to learn and be independent and I am doing everything in my power to help her reach her full potential. I give her every opportunity available, at times more than any mainstream kid could get.
If it where not for my persistance she would be peg feed to this day instead of eating, if it where not for my persistance she would still not be able to walk, if not for my persistance she would never have been toilet trained. Many people have given up on her in her short life, many people have said she is too hard and have walked away including her birth parents, But I stick it through no matter how hard things get, no matter what hurdles I come across on our journey through life.
The way I mother may not be perfect and if someone could show me the perfect way to parent I would follow it but in the meantime people do not have the right to judge how I parent unless they know what I go through every single day and what I have been through in my life.
I am so over people who have no idea that think they have a better way of doing things, I am over people who are experienced in nothing but so called experts in everything.
I wish people would keep there opinions to them selfs unless they have walked a day in my shoes.
Hun, it sounds like things are very tough for you. Good on for giving so much love and care to your DD who obviously needs it so much
I don't think you need a special needs child for people to judge and criticise, although I can imagine that it's much worse than you do. FWIW I don't think people intend to be so insensitive, they just simply understand.
I hope that over time you get better at ignoring it all. I suspect that you have a long road ahead of you, but I'm sure that your compassion and strength will get you there.
Hun I just want to say - your doing an amazing job and just flip these morons the bird!!!
My BIL is special needs and my PIL's were told he'd never eat, walk, talk etc and let me tell you - he rides a motorbike, eats us all out of house and home and can tell you to get stuffed quite clearly.....all because of MIL's persistence.
your commitment and love shines right through your words. It must be tough sometimes but you're an incredible woman and your little girl is very blessed to have such a great Mum.
you are so right you can never judge someone until you have walked a day in their shoes... it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and it is obviously working.
Darl, you're a wonderful mum and please have courage in your decisions.
The thing is, when we feel judgement, it's because people don't know our little ones as well as we know them ourselves.
I have an able-bodied child so I don't have anywhere near as much on my plate as you do .. but even I feel judged.
My DD is extremely active and she will not take no for an answer. So when I use a harness to stop her running into traffic, I can feel myself judged by people who have very placid children who walk by their side, hand-in-hand. They have obviously never experienced a toddler who would run in front of a car in a blink of an eye.
Just keep on doing what you're doing which is loving your daughter and giving her a very secure base. You're doing a great job. We all feel judged but we have to try not to let it get to us.
My vent
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