My vent

[LaDeeDa]

Hun I just want to say - your doing an amazing job and just flip these morons the bird!!!

My BIL is special needs and my PIL's were told he'd never eat, walk, talk etc and let me tell you - he rides a motorbike, eats us all out of house and home and can tell you to get stuffed quite clearly.....all because of MIL's persistence.

She is so lucky to have you!

[Phteven]

your commitment and love shines right through your words. It must be tough sometimes but you're an incredible woman and your little girl is very blessed to have such a great Mum.

[kelebek]

you are so right you can never judge someone until you have walked a day in their shoes... it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and it is obviously working.

[fionas]

Darl, you're a wonderful mum and please have courage in your decisions.

The thing is, when we feel judgement, it's because people don't know our little ones as well as we know them ourselves.

I have an able-bodied child so I don't have anywhere near as much on my plate as you do .. but even I feel judged.

My DD is extremely active and she will not take no for an answer. So when I use a harness to stop her running into traffic, I can feel myself judged by people who have very placid children who walk by their side, hand-in-hand. They have obviously never experienced a toddler who would run in front of a car in a blink of an eye.

Just keep on doing what you're doing which is loving your daughter and giving her a very secure base. You're doing a great job. We all feel judged but we have to try not to let it get to us.

[~Saram~]

Hun huge you are doing a great job!!! I know just what you mean. I cannot believe how many other parents feel they have the right to comment on my parenting. Console yourself with imagining them in your shoes and how quickly they would loose it

Have you seen this thread

[SJL]

Thank you for your replies. I normally dont let peoples opinions get to me, especially when I dont know them, I just say to myself 'they have no idea' and then I carry on.

The person that really pushed my buttons is my daughters scout leader (I am also a scout leader with her group) He seams to think he knows the kids so well but yet he doesnt know that my daughter cant balance properly during fast games (which he insists on running) and if she falls over it throws her body harder than the average person. The easiest way to chear her up is to pick her up and continue the game with her on my back (or anyones back, I just happened to be working with her team yesterday)laughing all the way to distract her from what upset her. Although yesterday she injured her knee (so I found out latter, and it was so badly injured the first aider questioned sending us off to hospital for xrays) which was why she didnt cheer up as fast as she would normally.

Anyway, i have had my vent and am feeling better to hav eit out of my head. Next week I will just have to take a deep breath everytime he questions me and either ignore it or defend myself and walk away.

Saram: I haven't seen that thread but I will have a look.


Sjl

[Inertia]

My DD is extremely active and she will not take no for an answer. So when I use a harness to stop her running into traffic, I can feel myself judged by people who have very placid children who walk by their side, hand-in-hand. They have obviously never experienced a toddler who would run in front of a car in a blink of an eye.

When I read the op it also reminded me of something like this.

When DH came back to pick me up from the hospital 4 hours after I had Phoebe, he had to put the baby seat back in because we havent got the extra seat put in the car yet. I was outside the car with baby and the kids and Harry went to the top of a driveway and called out that he was coming down - it was fair steep. I saw a car coming down the road and called out to him to stop. Naturally he didnt listen - so with baby in my arms I got up and run to intercept him at the bottom of the driveway, just as the car was about to drive past the driveway. He would have been under it if I hadn't moved. DH came over to grab Harry and put him in the back of the jackaroo to keep him safe while he finished putting the baby seat in, I look up and there is this guy across the road shaking his head at me..... For what I will never know. I simply can't understand what he saw. From my perspective, there was a toddler being a toddler and a mum who was doing exactly what she needs to as a mum - protecting him from danger. Apparently he saw something horrible. O.o

That however is the clincher, isnt it? What is so normal and simple to us is distorted to them. Their own little cynical worlds dream up a more horrible version of the event that just played out in front of them... and for that, I pity them. If they can't see the true joy, harmony and beauty of situations, then they are the ones that have a problem... No - "What a good mum for being alert and quick" - its "Bad mum for having a kid running around".

So don't let them get you down SJL, they are just dragging you into their misery and cynical existence. Live your own life the way you want to - because from what they display on the outside, their grass is brown!