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:ROFL: its all good until the remote hits someone in the eye though ;):
Yes Sarah........Ive notice pg owman EVERYWERE and its doing my head in. I evne miss that owie feeling down in the woo hoo of the last few weeks :(
This Christmas is just going to be ace! M has discovered the the joys of the christmas tree...and the candy canes and gingerbread men hanging on it.. He went tot he extent of even eating the ribbon that hang's them up...as I just found it in his last nappy deposit :sick:
SO how was everyone's christmas?
I was actually pretty dame depressed :( . Boxing day hit and I though about how I was in hospital with M and how that day until the day he was born was just horrible. It sort of destroyed my memories of my last pg and birth. Hell I dont even remember the first 3 months of his life due to the stress.
Id give anything to have that back :( ...friggen yucky!!!!!
SO next sunday we are invited to BIL's son's baptism. DO you think I really want to go? I know there will be atleast 2 new borns and a few pg woman unknowingly rubbing salt into my wounds.....hoping that i can use the 'have a bucket load of work' routine ;)
enough dribble from moi...of to sulk
I thought I'd have to drop out of the no more baby club for a minute there. I WAS STRESSED! But kind of fine with it at the same time. I'm pleased to say I am definitely NOT pregnant! But it would kinda sorta be nice to go through a pregnancy again.
Hey girls, can I join too?
I've been avoiding this thread - kinda in a state of denial I guess, but I really need to be here.
I thought I was good with it all, I really did. But I'm not.
I'm sick of people asking when we'll start trying again, telling them that the last preg nearly killed me and we can't have any more and them saying 'oh well at least you have one of each'!!!!:wall: uhuh like that's the perfect end to my story!
I still want four, I think I will always want four, but at the same time....pregnancy and I do not get on...ug it's just.....there were so many negatives, that I'd just like to have a perfect one I think. Stupidly naive as that sounds.
Feeling a bit soppy tonight I think.
Me too... can I join in?:
PIL's were here for Christmas Day & FIL said to DH he will pay for a vasectomy :o
I told DD1 tonight & bless her she s*** me sometimes, but she 'got it' - she said 'well I think it would be really sad for you to know that there will never even be a chance of another, whether you want it or not' - OMG the teen drama queen got me in one :lol:
I know it' s not practical, we barely fit into our (rented) 3brm townhouse as it is :rolleyes:
I know it means years more of our life raising kids, when the idea was to have our later years to ourselves
I know we can't 'afford' it, more time for me off work etc
I know DH worries about the physical toll on me
I know although our baby girl is a dream baby, so happy & cruisy there is no guarantees that another will be so easy ....
but I would still love another.
I don't know if I will ever feel finished having kids...when AR was a week old I said 'no more!!' and I meant it ... by the time she was 8 weeks old I was thinking ohhh I could have another one or two....
I feel so sad at the idea that it might be all made final, without even a chance of another...
all of that!:
Those late night acrobatics when you lay down to go to sleep, watching your little person rolling from one side of your tummy to the other. The excitement of feeling those flutters, and sitting on the loo praying that AF wont turn up with every wipe you take. Knowing other people (like me ) envious that you have created something magical and special within yourself.
Late night feed's in the darkness were its only the 2 of you breathign each other in.
Watching my other children oh and ah over the new addition to the family....watching for that first smile and their hands reach out for you. The excitement in their face when you enter the room. The first laugh...man...
and I feel so selfish... I know there are people out there who would give anythign just for one baby... but I can't help how I feel :(
geez sorry for the monster post... I have a lump in my throat now.. there is no-one IRL who understands how I feel....
I'm sick of hearing well you have to go back you need a girl to even everything out :wall: I have a little girl no one acknowledges her existance as my daughter :wall: (except my family)
Rach :( :hug: people are so ignorant and rude.
Tinks - :o
Kim - I hear you...pg and me dont get along at all either yet we are still willing to punish ourselves for that outcome :(
Jas - I cant believe your FIL....WTF??? what is it with people thinking they can control your life...grrr.
Although I have one girl, I am continuously asked if we're going to give her a little sister. yep not that simple. We've taken to telling people that we'd like another or 2 to keep them off our back. Its bloody well painful and if a realy knife to the heart.
I remember when we got married all we heard was so when are you going to pop one out. I think that is the most horriblest thing to say to anyone. I can only imagine how hard it is for couples who have been trying for years without success, it must be dame friggne heart breaking to hear it time and time again :(
ah off to hang some washing
My BIL and SIL and new newphew spent boxing day with us, and I spent most of it cuddling and smelling this little precious person. It was lovely - and heart wrenching at the same time.
DH (who is not living with us) was there as well - and he continually says I want to have another one. whats so painful about hearing him say that now is that when I fell pregnant with Aston for the first 20 weeks he was not a very nice individual about the whole thing. He even had the audacity to say on boxing day well if you won't have one with me I'll find someone else to.:cry: I could have thumped him there and then.
Such a myriad of emotions flow through me. Its not even just the baby thing - its the fact that I don't feel finished. that I have one more CHILD in me to have. That there is one more little soul circling around me, waiting to be born.... sigh.
When my SIL was feeding her little man, I got that let down feeling. god it hurts. So I'm sitting there with my hands pressed against my breasts to stop it... bloody hell just happened again thinking about it!!
its such a double edged sword isnt it? The strong intense desire to want another child... :shakehead: .... :cry:
Maz thanks for this thread:)
Can I reluctantly join???
DH and I toy with the idea of another bub but for all the practical reasons I think it is time for us to stop with our lot as it is. We are truely blessed with 3 little girls and I have had 3 wonderful pregnancies and births. Thankfully my dream to breastfeed a bub has come true with number 3. What else should I want hey? hmmm
I still want to feel that bubba moving inside me, I still want to hold my new baby and smell it for the first time and I kinda want to live in chaos and be apart of a tribe lol.
At the same time I need to get my body back, and I am looking forward to studying or doing some thing non baby/toddler/child related. I only have 1 year left until my eldest starts school and I want to spend some time with her, before she is off getting a life of her own lol.
We just had a huge Christmas and we got all sorts of comments and wishes. Most people told me to look after myself and made comments like 'surely" your done, you must be so busy. On the other hand my husband had quite a few relos wish a son for him.
For me I really have to get over the wanting just one more. Hopefully in time this ache will pass or the universe will send us just one more because the next won't be planned.
Question: How do you get the courage to give away your baby things. I've got a load of newborn clothes here that I could give away because we need the space but I can't!!!
kim - hugs honey xxxx
Over xmas we saw family and friends that we havent seen in a long while. First there was DH Uncle (they have one grown up son) who asked if we were having any more babies, when he was told we would not be having any more babies, he went on to tell us that we are young and will probably change our minds down the track blah blah blah. I would have thought he would understand not harping on about it since he has an only child too.
DH Aunt also asked when next bub would be on its way, when told no more she said we HAVE to have a little girl...my reply, thats why I am buying a female puppy :) She has an only child as well and she didnt push the issue further.
There was one couple of friends who supported us though which was wonderful, they have 2 little boys and he has just had the snip. They totally understand the feeling of never wanting more kids, it was nice to not feel bullied about it.
Over xmas it was nice being baby and pregnancy free. I wasz able to relax and have a couple of drinks as DS is old enough to entertain himself, toilet himself, feed himself etc, was lovely :)
Hey can I join up?
I'm in a little different position to you all - I've been single for over 3 years, effectively raising my two sons on my own. They're now 6 and 4, getting more and more independent each day. I was also the first of my "girlfriends" to have kids, and now a lot of them are having babies.
However, I waver day to day as to whether I ever want more (even if I had the opportunity). Most days it's a definite no. I like my sleep. I LOVE my work. And sometimes I feel as if I'm too selfish.
But there is a little part of me that says "if the circumstances were right..." As in if I had a partner who supported me 100%, that I could financially afford to stay home for 2-3 years, that I could take this time-out from my career... etc etc...
Gee it's hard, isn't it! I also get people saying "you're so young" but really, it's not about youth, is it. It is about ability and willingness of BOTH parties... and so many other things also come into the equation.
Hugs and thanks Maz for starting this!
Divvy, great post, agree with everything you said
Widdly - I really like the idea of not running after a baby at Christmas time whilst everyone else is sitting and relaxing. I think I exhausted some people at Christmas with the constant feeding one child or another,changing nappies or negotiating toy allocation etc.
Sazz ... i've been thinking the same thing ... Does anyone have any idea at approx what age does most if not all people will STOP ASKING ??? :think:
Like is it when your child is 5 or maybe even 10 ... i seriously have no idea :dunno: (has anyone's friends mentioned at what age it HAPPENED for them)
(i would love to ask my sister who has an only child whom is now 14 but she would most likely wanna kill me, yes unlike me she gets grumpy very quick & it's not worth the agony & risk for my sanity :doh:)
Elissa, YES how ** nice ** was it, my 1st Xmas in ages feeling actually relaxed (yay no nappy changing or bubba duties) also it was more magical cause Miss C was so immersed in everything Xmas ... was such fun & joy to watch her ;)
Kim, hugs to you lovely lady :hug: Why would people ask you when you only had Nate like this year, crazy people i say (as my folks would call it " What a way to end it with a Pigeon Pair, that's GOLD right there " :heartbeat::heartbeat:) xoxo ... Kim, maybe you could say to them what my hairdresser tells 'em " Um, Could you PLEASE tell me what's a GOOD NUMBER to have ... Like is it 3, 4 or more ?? " (and look at them as if you are searching for an answer), She said they shut up real quick as no one HAS an answer ;)
Couldn't agree more Divvy. Well said.:
Elissa, amen on the enjoying the bit of independence and freedome thing. Even though the little guy is only 10months old (:O already!) there are hints of it now and then and I am trying to focus on those aspects and looking forward to the next phase.
Bek, I'm same with the little things and getting rid of them. I've compromised with myself and put my favourite things into their 'treasures' boxes - but only what fit nicely, the rest went. Luckily for me my sister desperately needs a hand so all my clothes go to a good home where they're loved and worn.
Rach, some people just don't thin before they open their mouths :hug:
Maz, couldn't agree more about the being aware of what you say and they questions people ask. oh and about the punishing for the outcome. I think for me it's not so much the pregancny but that anticipation and the first meeting and a little soul whose whole world is you and olny you.
T&P that was rather bold of your DH?!?!
Jasp how um....forthright of your FIL. What did DH say?
L must remember that little comeback....
Re contraception: DH and I are only using the withdrawal method atm and I am bfing full time. I did ask my doctor about a tubal but she told me to come back in 2 years. My DH refuses to have the snip so it is all up to me. A tubal feels very final for me and I hope in 2 yrs these clucky feelings I get will be less full on.
My first step to moving on is to get rid of this baby weight....I've got 10kgs to loss. What things is everyone else doing to get over the bump?
lol we're moving from central NSW to the NT - that should keep me busy for a wee while lol.
First thing I did though was to get rid of my maternity clothes. Felt more final then.
Its pretty certain we won't have anymore. Df is adamant thats it and I do agree mostly, I found it so hard with a toddler and newborn. I don't want to go back to sleepless nights etc and its so much easier once they are independant.
BUT I still find it hard to give away outgrown clothes or give away baby stuff. Its odd cause I'm prolly 97% sure thats it but that 3% is making me hold onto things.
I will miss the excitement of getting that BFP and meeting your baby for the first time but then I think there is still so much more to come and still so much more to look forward to.
And its not just in there lives to. I plan to go back to school once the girls are in school and change careers. Having another would make it alot harder. Plus things we want to do that involve $$$ won't be so possible to do if we had another child in the mix.
I have 3 close friends having babies next year so excited for them, can give babies cuddles and give them back, it'll remind me even more why thats it for me! I think I can have mu newborn fix thru other people.
Hopefully I will be strong enough to pass on baby stuff to them.
:
You will be busy moving, goodluck. Re maternity clothes, I am still wearing mine lol
Up til DS was 2 years old, I would get extremely emotional when he grew out of his clothes and I had to give them away. I have a box that I keep a few bits and peices in that have special memories, but the rest went to either a friends son or the Salvos, I put them in the Salvos bin with a ump in my throat. These days when he grows out of stuff I just look forward to seeing him wearing his new cute clothes in the next size up :)
As far as baby weigh goes. GOSH, I went back to pre pregnancy weight a week after DS was born. Now that he is 3 years old I am 40 kilos over weight.....