Oh Nae, I remember feeling exactly how you are now!! I think it's extremely common. You think you know what it's going to be like but it's so much more!! It's totally normal to feel like that. I remember saying to DH "What have we done? We shouldn't have had a baby, we're not ready for this!!" But it was just because it's all so overwhelming. I also had issues with BF and that just made everything seem worse. You've been given some great advice in here. I agree, get a sling!! Get a fit ball!! See a LC!!
And most importantly it really DOES get a lot easier, even if it doesn't seem like it now
xx
Nae Nae, no extra advice but lots of support to you.
I'm a physio and our practice has a spare fit ball at the moment - if you would like to try one I can get it sent to you. If it works - keep it as a gift, one mother to another. If it's not your thing, then you can send it back to us, no worries.
I also spent lots of time crying in the shower...........sounds like a popular activity amongst many of us........
Big Hugs.. its certainly not an easy time and there is some fantasic advice here. You are certainly not alone.
I found the first five weeks to be horrible and I found the support from our Early Motherhood Service invaluable. It could be worth checking to see if your local hospital also provides this service. It is a free, home-based service.
Last edited by mummato1; November 22nd, 2009 at 08:16 PM.
Loads of great advice hon...hoping you have time to read it.
What trillian said was spot on - i think we've all been thru those times with a NB where we wished it was just DH and yourselves again...or even to be pregnant again...and not have to deal with the upset baby.
My 5mth old refuses my left side - never had this before. I do the football hold. Noticed at nightfeeds (when he still dreamy) he will take left side.
Wont repeat what is already been said. Just know your sooo not alone in all this....
Honestly I found the first 3 months extremely hard and really the first 6 months of my DD's life hard. I know that probably sounds like such a long time when Shae is still so young but it wasn't ALL bad and it did get easier as time went on. Just after 6 months things got a lot easier once my DD started solids and could move around more.
I didn't have much support and I really think motherhood is a time when we mothers really need all the support and help we can get. It is extremely hard!!
I'm going to repeat some of the advice others have given that really helped me too.
I saw an LC and talked to the ABA counsellors (1800 mum 2 mum) when I was having trouble BF. I also joined up with my local ABA group who were a great support. What about trying a new LC?
Trying different feeding positions might help. I agree the football hold was a great one for us, but it did take me a little while to get the knack of it. I also found it easier to feed her in the middle of the night from the side she didn't like as much. I think it worked because she was too tired to protest.
Your MCHN doesn't sound very helpful. I didn't like my MCHN either so I asked on BB and at my ABA meetings and found a new MCHN at a different centre who is so much more supportive. So that's an option too.
I used the MCHN line (13 22 29) and found that very helpful too.
A sling was a life saver for me. I had the hugabub and my DD would sleep in it as I walked around. I think she was nice and warm next to me and could hear my breathing and heart beat. All very comforting.
When I was having heaps of trouble with settling DD I organised Tweddle @ home, which really helped with settling and feeding issues. There are other people you can organise to come to your home or you can do day stays at hospitals.
I talked to my GP who decided that I wasn't PND but did suggest I talk to a counsellor which helped with coping strategies.
I started asking for help. It didn't always come unfortunately but when it did I always accepted it.
I got DH to take our DD as much as he could on weeknights and weekends so that I could have a break and have a sleep or shower or go for a walk or go for a drive. Those breaks always refreshed me, even if they were only 10 mins.
When home alone with DD I would sometimes put her in her pram, get my ipod, put the headphones on, turn the music on and just walk and walk and walk. That really helped me escape and DD would fall asleep. I always felt so refreshed afterwards - exercise gets the endorphins flowing.
It really does get easier. In those first few weeks the days seem to go forever and it seems like an end is not in sight but it DOES GET EASIER!!! Hang in there. If we can all go through it and make it to the other side so can you.
Nae, I remember feeling exactly how you are now!! I think it's extremely common. You think you know what it's going to be like but it's so much more!! It's totally normal to feel like that. I remember saying to DH "What have we done? We shouldn't have had a baby, we're not ready for this!!" But it was just because it's all so overwhelming. I also had issues with BF and that just made everything seem worse. You've been given some great advice in here. I agree, get a sling!! Get a fit ball!! See a LC!!
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